A Divasgiving blessing…..
Bless these divas and all of their tracks.
Bless these albums because they’ve all still got it like that.
Cher/’Believe’ Let’s not fuck around because this album. While any record from the unstoppable diva’s collection of werk is well equipped for a spot on these lists (here’s part one) it’s her ’99 opus that gained the legend a whole new fanbase while making us serve on the dance floor to tracks, “Strong Enough” and “All or Nothing.” But most of all, it taught us that indeed there is life after love, and for that we’ll always be god damn grateful to this album.
Madonna/’The Immaculate Collection’ Does this one really need an explanation? Just bow down and listen to all of the Material Girl greatness.
Aaliyah/’One in a Million’ There’s just so much to say about the dearly departed ‘Liyah’s sophomore set. But since great music awaits us, let’s just say that it’s a smooth, silky ride that introduced us to the names “Missy” and “Timbo” while sweeping us into a whole new wave of late ’90s R&B that we’ll never forget. Now, bow your heads, give thanks, praise and then dance to the album’s timeless title groove.
Mariah Carey/’The Emancipation of Mimi’ Whether you live, live to loathe or just straight up loathe, you have to admit that MC’s ’05 comeback record is simply the truth, dah-ling. At nearly twenty million copies sold worldwide, Mariah proved she still had it like that as evident is the Jermaine Dupri owned singles, “It’s Like That,” the Calgon promoting “Shake it Off,” and the gut wrenching blockbuster ballad, “We Belong Together,” which still has us reaching for a Kleenex upon every single listen (perhaps now more than ever?), especially when the future star of Mariah’s World hits all those high notes that she most likely can’t strike anymore.
Britney Spears/’In the Zone’ The baby sister of Blackout if you will, Brit Brit’s fourth record was definitely not in the Mickey Mouse Club anymore, but still packed with plenty of hip shakin’ pop music fodder, as proven in pretty much every track, including “Me Against the Music,” “Showdown,” “Touch of My Hand,” and perhaps one of the most underrated songs of Ms. Spears’ career, the deep house wrapped, “Breathe on Me.” Sigh…
And imagine a world without “Toxic?” It’s like Thanksgiving without that one family member who asks you why you haven’t settled down yet. Because you’re listening to Britney, bitch.
Rihanna/’Good Girl Gone Bad:Reloaded’ The album that transformed Rihanna into RiRi and into basically that bitch, for her third studio romp, Ms. Fenty served us with much more of her trademark Barbadian sass through straight up jams like “Shut Up & Drive,” “Breakin’ Dishes,” “Push Up On Me,” “Disturbia,” “Take a Bow,” “Please Don’t Stop the Music” and the one-and-only, “Umbrella…ella…ella eh.” Perfection.
Celine Dion/”The Colour of My Love” Four words sum this (slightly underrated) Ms. Dion experience all sorts of up–“The Power of Love.” Enough said.
And for that music matter, respect must be paid to original “Power” owner, the dearly departed Laura Branigan.
Beyonce/’Dangerously in Love’ Okay, put down the pitchforks. While, yas queen, we we’re blessed with Lemonade this year, the albums on this list are more of a classic variety, with each one having strutted into our lives more than five years ago.
Okay, now that that’s settled, Dangerously in Love is basically the reason why you have a new/or lack of respect for girls named Becky and the main reason why you ain’t never gonna be sorry for being more of a crazed Bey fan than ever before. Just think, where would our lives bey without “Crazy in Love,” “Baby Boy,” “Hip Hop Star,” “Be With You” “Naughty Girl” or “Me, Myself and I?” Absolutely nowhere near the Lemonade stand.
Hole/”Live Through This” If there was ever a time to appreciate the ’90s angst ridden flow of Courtney Love and friends masterful breakthrough sophomore set…it’s right this very god damn second. Meaning, put on “Doll Parts,” “Violet” and “Miss World” and try not to feel a little something relevant.
Madonna/Confessions on a Dance Floor If there was any diva who could get us to confess all of our sins in the most strobe lit way possible, it’s certainly Ms. Madonna who took us straight to disco heaven and beyond on her twelfth studio record and has kept us there ever since.
That’s not to say that Madge didn’t need to go back her dance floor mother ship (we’re waiting, Gaga) after ’03’s American Life happened, but we’re so glad she did because a world without “Hung Up,” “Get Together,” “Jump,” “Sorry,” “Future Lovers” and “Let It Will Be” just doesn’t make any sense…at all.
Whitney Houston/’My Love is Your Love’ “Clap your hands y’all, it’s alright.” As long as we have this record by our beloved Whitney in our collection, how could it not be? And “It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay” and the Faith Evans/Kelly Price co-starring “Heartbreak Hotel” for all of music eternity. #singmommy
Toni Braxton/Self-titled Before she straight un-broke our hearts and got us all musically love stoned in ’96, Mizz Toni Braxton struck on the scene in ’93 with her sensual debut, which sounds just as baby makin’ ready as it did nearly twenty five years ago. (da fuck?) If you’re not ready to get it to “Another Sad Love Song,” “Breathe Again,” “How Many Ways,” and “You Mean the World to Me,” call your doctor for a Cialis prescription right the fuck away.
Paula Abdul/’Forever Your Girl’ Try not feeling gay as fuck when getting down to this cherished ’80s album by our pint sized Paula and all of its energetic singles–“The Way That You Love Me,” “Straight Up,” “Cold Hearted,” “Opposites Attract,”(MC Skat Cat!),”Knocked Out” and the album’s saucy title track…it’s just not possible. And for that reason, you betta werk, Ms. Abdul. See you in June.
Gwen Stefani/Love. Angel. Music. Baby. While T. Swift served up ’80s realness with her chart defying 1989 set a few years ago, Ms. Gwen Stefani came along a decade prior and quite frankly….did it better. Besides cooking up a record that’s full of Rubix Cubed life (and plenty of Ms. Stefani’s trademark vocal cooes), LAMB still plays out as gum cracking sassed as it did back in ’04, especially when you crank up the synth whirled goodness of “Rich Girl,” “Cool,” “Serious,” “Luxurious” “Crash” and “What You Waiting For.”
Of course, there’s no explanation needed when it comes to “Hollaback Girl” because it’s still our shit and the reason why you’ve never misspelled “banana” ever again. Uh-huh.
Pink/’Missundaztood’ The last spot on this year’s list is giving it up to our local girl Pink because not only is her sophomore set still an unquestionable slice of diva music truth (god damn you, “Just Like a Pill”), but it just turned fifteen years old this week, which is all the more reason to crank the carefully constructed angst-y pop grooves all the way up. Right, grandma? I see you gettin’ down to “Get the Party Started.”
See you at the diva table next year…
Janet’s The Velvet Rope….Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream….Debbie Gibson’s Out of the Blue….Poe’s Hello and…..????. Until then.