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ALL the Winter/Almost Spring Local Drag Tea w/Ms. Brittany Lynn

Hey, Qween!

It’s been awhile since we tawked cuz mother has been up to her breast plate in gigs, gigs, gigs while serving the great city of Philadelphia! What can I say, even after two decades, they keep this old girl werking all over the tri-state area, and chawld we gots lots to catch up!

First off-thanks to my gals of the Miss Fancy Brigade for a truly amazing job marching in the Mummers New Year’s Day parade! With our Storybook theme, we posed for pics and marched all over Broad Street, making thousands of kids Disney fantasy come to life. If you were too hungover to catch us during the parade’s tv broadcast, check out the Miss Fancy Brigade page on Facebook (right here) for lots of pics and videos from the whole day.

Miss Iris Spectre took the title of this year’s Miss Fancy 2017 dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast (representing Boxers Philly), and check out below for all the deets on her crowning ceremony! Many, many thanks to the Mummers LGBT Liaison Committee for our fifth and most fabulous year to date! And even more thanks to the Landi Comics Brigade for taking us in and allowing us to march for our first time as a comics brigade!

Next, Chawld-I lived the ONLY 80’s fantasy that a drag queen can live. How could I compete with last year’s opening salot for Debbie Gibson? Well, my friends at The Block at Harrah’s and Iheartthe80s put Philly Drag Mafia in the opening slot for FRIGGIN’ TAYLOR DAYNE and STACEY Q! Navaya Shay as Toni Basil, Dusty Relix as Cyndi Lauper, Brittany Marie as Pat Benetar (singing live), Royal Rehrig as George Michael (singing live), Ginger Alley as Michael Jackson, Omyra Lynn as Janet Jackson, and myself singing Depeche Mode! I got to stand next to and actually breathe upon her highness Taylor Dayne. And Stacey Q is most likely the sweetest woman you will ever meet-here’s a cute clip of the two of us in the Harrah’s parking lot before the show:

While you’re at my YouTube page-check out all the videos from Philly Phavorite Drag Family-there’s so much shit on there you’ll need to call outta work! (Because you should drink while you watch these videos xoxo)

Special shout to my broads of the Golden Gurlz Live who had their fourth sold out show over at the Common Wealth in Old City-catch us next in Asbury Park at Paradise (see below)! What’s next for these queens? Who can say in these crazy times-but it’s rumored that the show is being retweaked and reworked into a mash up with Sex and the City! Who started that rumor? Me-right here-right now-cuz it’s true. And you’re all gonna gag when the news gets revealed here on Philly Mixtape next month….so stay tuned!

In case you missed Skate.Pride. Love. at Dilworth Park on Monday-you missed a great time from the Our Night Out Folks, the DVLF, and the Philadelphia Gay News! Thanks to DJ Carl Michaels who always makes time to give back to the good causes and the Philly LGBTQ community-plus I got to wear a fancy dress and serve the ONLY Dorothy Hamill look since…well Dorothy Hamill

Ok kids moving on-here’s all the drag tea coming up for the end of February and March! How the hell is it almost friggin March already? First I gotta sit through Valentine’s Day and now WHAM-it’s mah birfdayyyyyy March 13, and a bitch is turning 40-something-ish! Can a girl get a second to catch her breath? Judging by all the events i got going on in March, my guess is no…But here it goes kids: All the Drag Tea!

(this photo of Bob the Drag Queen courtesy of the incredible, Mr. David Ayllon) 

Feb. 15-Bob the Drag Queen @ VERA, 9pm Crown snatcher Ariel Versace hosts this night of HIGH-lariousness with RPDR winner Bob the Drag Queen, yours truly, Bev, drag husband Chasity St. Cartier, and more queens than you can shake a stick at! (Note: You may actually shake a stick at some of them…well just Satine...) VERA-2310 Marlton Pike W, Cherry Hill, NJ 08002

Feb. 17-Spill the Tea Revue @ Tabu, 9pm
My much older and prettier sister Hennastacia Beach spills all the tea with special (and by special I mean slow) guests Donna Ria, original secretary of the Drag Mafia, Brenda Lamour, boylesquer Jesha, hottie boy toy Ian Greene, Regina Gorj, and drag mother to us all the legendary Les Harrison-NO COVER so stop being cheap and support local drag! (That should be a hashtag someday…) Tabu-200 S. 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

Feb. 18-Pigs in a Blanket @ Tabu, 9pm
The qween that gave every Philly host their opening monologue about screaming YASSSS and tipping-PISSI MYLES-hits Philly with NYC’s Sherrie Pie-with a comedy show that’s guaranteed to cure your comedy constipation! All laughs and NO COVER! Live singing and lots of song parodies-just get to Tabu before all the tater tots end up “missing”! Tabu-200 S. 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

Feb. 19-Miss Paradise @ Paradise in Asbury, 8pm
Hosted by my gay girlfriend Miss Victoria Lace (Miss Paradise 2010), and featuring Miss Paradise 2016 Jolina Jasmine, this pageant gives me LIFE! All the girls bring something different and GAYYYYY to the stage-talk about backup dancers and gowns for dayzzzzz….Can’t wait to gossip and kiki with one of my best Judys, Miss Michael Cook- “Cookie” and have a night with my bosom buddy DJ Carl MichaelsParadise-101 Asbury Ave, Asbury Park, NJ.; 07712

Feb. 24th Crowning of Iris Spectre @ Boxers, 8pm The Miss Fancy Brigade says goodbye to the Miss Fancy 2016 Maria Top Catt, and hello the reign of Iris Spectre, Miss Fancy 2017. We are just hoping the crown doesn’t stick magnetically to her 36 robot costumes. Special guests throughout the night and two special awards will be presented to Miss Karen Von Say and Miss Crystal Electra. Come through kids and support the gals who have marched proudly in the city’s biggest parade for our LGBTQ community. It’s all about diversity and inclusion so show some love! Boxers-1330 Walnut St.; (215) 735-2977

Feb. 26-The Golden Gurlz Live @ Paradise in Asbury-Early Bird Special, 4pm
After four SOLD OUT SHOWS in Philly, the gals are taking this GAY-mazing show up to Asbury for two episodes w/ Bella Cane, Pissi Myles, Connor Michalchuk, Aeryanah Von Moi, Jesha…and then there’s Maude! Get those tix, kids right here. Paradise-101 Asbury Ave, Asbury Park, NJ.; 07712

March 10-Morgan McMichaels @ Icandy, 10pm
One of RPDR’s faves Morgan McMichaels hits the Icandy stage to serve the children. I’m told Brooklyn Ford has already starting her contouring process for this event as I type this! Meet and greet and tickets available right here.  Icandy 254 S. 12th St.; (267) 324-3500

March 16-Brittany Lynn’s Bday @ Bob n Barbara’s, 11pm
Come celebrate my 40-something-ish (pass the Botox!) bday at Bob & Barbara’s-and my 21st year of performing there-JEEZUS-with my gay galpals “The Senator” Crystal Electra, the legendary Les Harrison, and your hostess each and every week (FOR ETERTNITY) Miss Lisa Lisa. Please make sure there is fruit salad in lieu of cake, girl is trying to slim this shit down! Xoxo, your current Miss Bob & Barbara’s Ameritus Bob & Barbara’s, 1509 South St.; (215) 545-4511

March 17- Porcelain’s “March Sadness” @ Tabu, 9pm (Now every THIRD Friday!)
Philly’s Phavorite, demonically possessed vixen returns to Tabu for her new, monthly show-with special guests Ann Artist, Luna Luvey, Pretty Girl, Asha Rabbit, and Satine! Get here early cuz this witch packs the house! If her eyes are glowing red, it’s not necessarily cuz she’s evil, she may have just been hanging out in the Tabu alley with Maria Top Catt… Tabu-200 S. 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

March 17-Drag Me to Landmark @ Landmark, 9pm
For your Jersey broads doing St. Patty’s in the best Jersey way possible, PLEASE go see Astala Vista’s show at Landmark. The venue, the audience, and the host are wayyy too much fun for your own good. Phaedra Phaded and Maria Top Catt join Astala and will most likely be found in the alley drinking all the green beer and slapping clover tattoos on all the hot local butts.

March 22-Summer Kamp PREMIER @ Tabu, 9pm
Philllllly-Summer Kamp is coming back to Tabu and they are looking for the area’s best triple threat-the actor/singer/dancer type (aka most theatrical gays). If you know anyway with these crazy talents-send em on over! Weekly prizes awarded for eight fun-filled weekly themes, and $1,000 in cash and prizes PLUS A SHOWCASE is awarded to the last camper remaining. Mentors Ian Lesage, Maria Top Catt, and Shannen Turner lead the kids to victory and guest judges include everyone from songstress Brittany Marie, to Joey Gallagher, to Peek A Boo Revue’s Joey Martini-you never know who you may find hitting Summer Kamp. Tabu-200 S. 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

March 25-Bev’s Bitchfest @ Tabu, 9pm
Bev’s Bday Bash brings Miss National Comedy Queen 2016 Anita Waistline, and Tabu’s Sinful Sunday’s Isis. “I’m so excited to bring the reigning Miss Comedy Queen to Philly and show her (and the audience) the best in talent and creativity in our community! It’s my birthday and we’re pulling out all the stops !” Bev said. What Bev meant to say was, “I’m so sad Brittany couldn’t perform in this show so I got these broads.” I swear that’s what I thought she said. But then again, I LOVE WEED, so what can ya do. Tabu-200 S. 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

March 26 Drag Mafia hits Bourbon & Branch, 11am
This brunch always sells out kids-so for realz grab your tickets early qweens! I’ll be there hosting a noon and 1pm show with some of my best gay galpals! And the food is GAYYYYYYY! I almost chopped off Zsa Zsa St. James titty for some of her chicken and waffles at the last brunch. Shows, stunts, games, and lots of audience participation. (And the staff is totally HAWT!) Seated table service tix-$15, standing room $5-and standing space sells out once the tables do! Tickets at bourbonandbranchphilly.com-LIMITED SEATING!!! Bourbon & Branch-705 N. 2nd St; (215) 238-0660

That’s all for now kids! If you something draggy coming up and wanna spread the word-hit me up at thedragmafia@gmail.com-and visit my fb page “The Vaginally Challenged Brittany Lynn”!

Love and lashes,
Brittany Lynn

Then of course, there’s this. 

 

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