All of the April Local Drag Tea w/Ms. Brittany Lynn

By Ian Morrison

Hey Qweens!

OH MAH GAWD it’s April already! As we experience all four seasons every day of the week now, the Qweens and Kings of the city are gearing up for Pride, the circuit Qweens are cutting carbs, and the other gays have six more months for anything with pumpkin spice, but are patiently waiting. 

As far as drag events go, April is more stuffed than the dresses Alexander John Ortiz photoshops each morning. So take a gander boys and girls, and see all of the April offerings…

*Cover photo courtesy of Sarah Michelle Gellar* 

Saturday, April 1/Philadelphia Dyke March presents Carnival Flea Market The ladies are getting together and selling their wares and PDM merch! Carnival snacks and food, a fortune teller, a kissing booth, clowns, face painters, and more! (Cats, flanels, and tool belts jokes inserted here…) 12pm-4pm, William Way Center, 1315 Spruce Street 

Saturday, April 1/Woods Party  DJ Brando Calrissian spins the night away as Philly welcomes the Woods Campground. Performances by the Miss Woods title holders and faves such as Dusty Relix, Royal, and Maxine Chambers! All the best of the Woods Campground without needing sunscreen on your dirty parts-but expects lots of bears, broads,and booze! 8 pm, Tabu, 200 S. 12th St.

Sunday, April 2/Statements, Stars, and Legends Showcase  Andrea Lamour hosts a night of showgirls with Lisa Lisa (of Bob & Barbara’s fame), “the Senator” Crystal Electra, cat enthusiast Lady Geisha, and one of the best Tina Turner impersonators (and Andrea’s drag mother) that you will see on this coast! And the show is early enough you can still make it home in time for your stories sis… 5 pm, Adreinne Theater 2030 Sansom St 

Monday, April 3rd (and every Monday)/Drags to Riches Leo Gonzalez heads the weekly gameshow that’s a mix of Price is Right and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire-hosted by La Tonga! Win some coins and see lots of queens crafting products off the set lol…9 pm, Tabu 200 S. 12th St 

Monday, April 3rd (and every Monday following)/Queens & Quizzo  The ladies that bring you the monthly, sold out drag brunch have now taken over Mondays at Bourbon and Branch! Come and play some quizzo with a $50 weekly prize leading to a $500 grand prize! Performances and hipsters hotties from all over No Libs and guaranteed to chase away the Monday blues-and make life a little more…gay… Bourbonandbranchphilly.com 7 pm, Bourbon & Branch 705 N 2nd St.

Wednesday, April 5/Doll-sters & Tiaras  The gayborhood’s first drag, child star pageant! Featuring Navaya Shay, Zsa Zsa St. James, David Isis Lopez III, Omyra Lynn, Anthony Michael, Porcelain, and Johnny Patches! With pageant categories that include: Diaper Presentation, Childhood Talent, and Nap Time Couture-YOU DO NOT WANNA MISS THIS! Hosted by Philly’s Phavorite Stage Mom The Vaginally Challenged Brittany Lynn of course! The audience will receive ballots to vote! Who will become the gayborhood’s first child star pageant qweeeeeen? $5 cover goes to the Childhood Home for Gifted Youngsters (The contestants-As it always should….) Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Thursday, April 6/Lisa Lisa’s Miami Party  The girls of Bob & Barbara’s are giving up their coins for a night to send Lisa to Miami and figure out where her accent really comes from-come and play with all the girls and bi-curious audience members! 11 pm, Bob & Barbara’s 1509 South St.

Saturday, April 8th & Sunday, April 9th/Nostalgia Fest Drag Mafia hosts this two day, 80’s and 90’s dream festival! OH MAH GAWD! 80’s and 90’s celebs! Food trucks! Free wine and beer sampling for hours! Comic artists! Wrestling stars! And 150 vendors selling vintage toys, games, and more! WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT? This will be the event of all events! Live the 80’s and 90’s ultimate fantasy with performances by Navaya Shay as Britney Spears, Jeffy Nemeth (Dusty Relix) as Cyndi Lauper, Royal Rehrig as George Michael, Thom Sirkot as Elton John, and The Vaginally Challenged Brittany Lynn as Boy George & Culture Club and other surprise celebrities! Use our Drag Mafia code…….DRAG for $5.00 General Admission……….DRAGVIP for $15.00 VIP Admission. Note: the Discount Code needs to be entered in CAPS to work. And check your Bud Bundy life right here for all of the Nostalgia Fest tea you could ever want! Yassss Qween! 

Saturday, April 8/Pigs in a Blanket Golden Gurlz Live drag star Pissi Myles and Sherrie Pie serve the STUPIDEST show that will make you pee your pants-and it’s all served on a bun! Games and audience participation and possibly a performance here and there so grab a seat early9 pm, no cover. Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Wednesday, April 12/The Shady Bunch Hosts Aloe Vera and Turnpyke go head to head with their boys and girls-and trust me the girls are much bigger...9 pm, Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Friday,April 14/Ariel’s Bday Bash The fishy hosts celebrates her birthday and instagram following with her gayest galpals. Come for the show, and stay and watch us all (mostly Ariel’s mom Susan Neel) try and get Chasity to pack her drag at the end of the night after a few cocktails lol 9 pm, Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Friday, April 14/Pretty Girl/Pi/Sharon Needles Gather round kids and watch two of Philly’s own open for the Drag Race fave in No Libs! Show them how we do ladies! Get those tickets. 1250 N. Front St.

Friday, April 14/Miss Paradise Victoria Cruz  Yours truly joins Miss Paradise 2017 Victoria Cruz and DRAG LEGEND HARMONICA SUNBEAM for Victoria’s weekly drag extravaganza! Wall to wall comedy legends-say whaaaaaat? BRING A DIAPER AND A MOP-you’re gonna need it! Plus I get to DISH with my gay galpal Miss Michael Cook-can’t wait! 10 pm, Paradise, 101 Asbury Ave, Asbury Park, NJ, 07712 

Saturday, April 15/Baked Alaska  From the mouth of the hostess Miss Aurora Whorealis: “Do you need somewhere to spend all your MUNNY from your tax returns? It won’t be on a cover for our show! That means more money for #BBB#Booze #Bitties and #Bluntz! BAKED ALASKA is back on tax day, the best #420 pregame!” Featuring the blazingly talented: AURORA WHOREALIS and LILI ST. QUEER and THEIR EXTRA SPECIAL guest, the Dancing Diva, DALYLA MIZANI! In other words: SMOKE WEED, PAUSE, and REPEAT…9 pm, Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Friday, April 21/Porcelain’s DOOM Porcelain is back for her new, monthly show at Tabu! Bringing in the best of the obscure and the darkest talents of Philly, this gal has come back to Philly in a HUGE way-so get to Tabu early for a good seat as this show gets PACKED! NO COVER-the dark arts support this gal and sends her monthly sacrificial coinage… 10 pm, Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Saturday, April 29/Mr. Philly Drag King 2017 My brother from another mother Rough Rydeher and Jimmy Two Fingas host this year’s Mr. Philly Drag King Competition! This is an amateur competition calling kings from Philly, NJ and Delaware for the 22nd year and is a fundriaser for The Philly Dyke March!

The winner will receive:
-Cash Prize
-Sponsored Gifts, trophies, crown and more.
-Performance on Philly Dyke March Stage
-Seat on the Main Float for Philly Gay Pride in June
-Performance at Festival Pier for Philly Gay Pride
-Performance on Outfest Main Stage
-Seat on Philly Dyke March Board for PDK 2018

May the best man win! William Way LGBT Community Center 1315 Spruce Street; (215) 732-2220

And lastly some events and shout-outs for the Qween’s Choice. They might not have drag queens themselves, but there’s lots of queen’s support:

Sunday, April 9/What We Do Is Secret Carl Michaels and Grotzy Versace play 80’s and 90’s Manchester and American Club Classics to get the queens moving and shaking-there’s gonna be more queens than you can shake a Grace Jones headpiece at-be there! 10 pm, Stir Lounge 1705 Chancellor St.

Saturday, April 22/I’m From Driftwood 4th Annual Spring Brunch  The 2017 Host Committee invites you to celebrate spring by mixing and mingling with your LGBT neighbors at the 4th Annual I’m From Driftwood Spring Brunch. Immerse yourself in great company and live jazz while enjoying a brunch buffet and drinks in the beautiful outdoor courtyard of the John C. Anderson Apartments. Event proceeds support I’m From Driftwood: The LGBT Story Archive. The stories on I’m From Driftwood send a simple yet powerful message to LGBT people everywhere: You Are Not Alone. Tickets and info at www.imfromdriftwood.com/brunch *Limited advance tickets available online while supplies last12:30pm at the Jon C. Anderson Apartments  251 S. 13th St.; (267) 639-6820

Saturday, April 22/Brain Crumbs Premiere Get ready, kweens and kings, Tavern on Camac fave and local film maker Jon Ristaino premieres his second documentary Brain Crumbs at a private screening at 6:30pm at The Penn Cinema Riverfront.  “After a car accident nearly took a young woman’s life, leaving her with a traumatic brain injury. She must relearn every basic function of life. Her dream to become a chef fuels her fight to reclaim her life. Using food and cooking therapy combined with a unique harness system,developed to help her walk, she pushes the boundaries of conventional “therapy.”

With a special appearance by the former Chef of The Tavern (Tavern on Camac’s downstairs restaurant), this 5 year documentary takes a step into the life of a TBI survivor and exposes the challenges and triumphs of life.” It’s a must see-and you gotta support my bestie and one of Philly’s Phavorite bartenders. GET YOUR TICKETS NOW QWEEN! 630 pm, The Penn Cinema Riverfront. 401 S Madison St, Wilmington, Delaware

MAJOR CONDRAGULATIONS to Gabrielle Charles Gibson and Jaden Remy for making his and her-story on “Say Yes to the Dress!”. With appearances by their dearest friends all a tongue-popping (Miss Jose Corrigan I’m talkin’ bout you chawld…) the couple make their tv debut and wake the whole country up-major kudos to the wedding bride and groom! Check out a post from Gabrielle “Cha Chi Divine ” herself right here. 
As someone who has watched Gabrielle grow up from her first days at Bounce Nightclub, it’s an amazing feeling to see her dreams come true-much love to you girl, you deserve the best xoxo

OH MAH GAWD! April has a lot going on-and lot of it is at Tabu…coincidence? Who can say in these crazy time we live in…but if you wanna get your shows and stunts posted, just send me a message Qween! I’m always posting for new events on my fb pages, or write me:thedragmafia@gmail.com

That’s all for now-I’ve been typing for so long my hands look like Omyra Lynn fighting for crab legs at the Ruby Buffet-so come out and support these whores-like they say, “it takes a lot of money to look this cheap…”

Love and lashes y’all,
Brittany Lynn

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