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All the December Drag Tea w/ Brittany Lynn

Good morning kids!

And holy winter solstice-how the hell is it December already? That time again to get in gear for all of your favorite, pagan holidays…and to let your boss know what religious background you are in order to get that holiday vaca and time off from work!

As you know and probably hate, Jews like me celebrate Hanukah for eight days and get a gift for each day. So we require A LOT of time off. And yeah the holiday seems to fall on different days each year, but that’s only because we all meet up and decide when it would be the most inconvenient days to celebrate for everyone around us that isn’t Jewish. But don’t be jealous or mad, we always get shitty gifts while everyone else is waking up to brand new Xboxes. That’s our thing-you can’t have it all can ya…

But whether you light candles, celebrate Jesus’ birthday, read some hadith about Ramadan, or give your evil kids to the Krampus, December gives us a lot of parties, food, and the biggest night of drinking-New Year’s Eve. And with the good comes the bad-the “All I Want for Xmas is You” performance that is gay law mandatory for every drag show through the entire month (ahem NAVAYA SHAY-but congrats on becoming Miss Tabu 2016!). But the good is that I’m back from Dragcation and back to working’ dem streets and bars again-and so are a whole bunch of other dragons! So here’s a list of the buzz and what’s a happenin’ for December! Yep a Jesus Christ Superstar reference-it’s the holidays! Make it nice and come see the tree!

Dec. 3rd-Code Red 7pm @ The Theater of Living Arts
In 2008, I met a timid (and thin haha), little boy who was hired to be my backup dancer for Shampoo’s Boy Bar. We quickly bonded and he became one of my gay children. Now he has grown into one of the city’s most beloved drag queens and a powerhouse in the lgbt fundraising community-the diva known as Cherry Pop.

Last night, Cherry and Brandon Bartlieb–the producers of what has grown into one of the biggest charity events of the year–put on the 4th annual Code Red event in which themselves and many, many fabulous queens from across the local land came together and raised $16, 000  (surpassing their goal of $10,000) for Mazzoni Center and AIDS Fund!

You betta werk, ladies! Already can’t wait to see what next year will bring!

Before last night’s earth shattering event, I had a few minutes to chat with Cherry Pop and get the scoop on it all, which you can absolutely revel in right here on PhillyDragMafia.com….

Now, let’s get ready to ho, ho, ho it up to this dazzling display of December local drag shenanigans served up by yours truly…

Dec. 4-Miss Icandy Pageant at 8pm at Icandy Come and play with me and Miss Icandy 2016 Aloe Vera as we take the crown off her head and put the title of Miss Icandy onto a new diva who will represent Icandy in 2017 and get to march with the Miss Fancy Brigade on New Year’s Day! Make it gay! Icandy-254 S. 12th St.; (267) 324-3500

Dec. 7-Release party for the Morris Animal Refuge’s Fierce and Furry 2017 Calendar at 6pm @ Tabu
Twelve of the gayborhood’s favorite leading ladies have joined up with Morris Animal Refuge to create a fundraising calendar, “Fierce & Furry”! And most of us shaved for the photoshoot so you will hopefully be able to tell the queens from the adoptable furry babies in this GAYMAYZING calendar! Come by and grab a copy before they sell out! Makes a great ChrismaKwanzaHanukah gift for gays of all ages! Tabu-200 S 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

Dec. 9-Fish Tank at 9pm @ Tabu
Ariel Versace has cast her fish net out and pulled in a great group of fishy queens for this month’s holiday show-Anita Manhattan, Roxi Starr, Chasity St. Cartier, and Pheadra Phaded all parade around the tank this month! Tabu-200 S 12th St,; (215) 964-9675

Dec. 9th-Glitter and Garbage at 7pm @ L’Etage.
Shannon Turner serves, “Cabaret Realness with a side of angst and a filthy mouth”. With five dollars of every cover going to benefit The Trevor Project (Preventing Suicide among LGBTQ+ youth), Kevin Lutz on the piano, and special guest Mistor Fahrenheit performing, L’Etage is going to fill up quick-so grab an early seat kids! And be ready for Miss Turner’s mouth-she’s been known to make truck drivers blush.
$ 12 cover. 
L’Etage-624 S 6th St.; (215) 592-0656

Dec. 11-Golden Gurlz Live at 7pm @ Tabu
Golden Gurlz returns to Tabu after two sold out shows! This month, catch the Gurlz holiday episode-AND-a murder mystery episode-with guest star Angela Landsbury as Jessica Fletcher! (*Note: Angela Landsbury will not be there but we have the next best thing…) The murder mystery episode in very interactive so get seats up close to the stage if you wanna be a part of the show! My gay galpals Pissi Myles, Connor Michalchuk, Bella Cane, Aeryanah Von Moi, and Anne Allen return to reprise their famous roles (and then some) in this improv production of some of the Golden Gurlz funniest moments.  Tabu-200 S 12th St,; (215) 964-9675

Dec. 15-Xmas Kinky Quizzo at 10:30pm @ Valanni!
My big, gay ass gets extra kinky hosting a night of Kinky Quizzo. What makes it kinky and holiday? You should see what I do with the drinks and appetizers before they reach your table…Come anyway-and win some amazing kinky gifts to make any Scrooge loosen up this holiday season! Valanni-1229 Spruce St, (215) 790-9494

Dec. 16-Very Sherry Xmas at 7pm @ Tabu!
This show was a big one on my holiday list-I had to put out early for Santa this year-and ALL HIS DWARVES. It was actually pretty fun! But who doesn’t want to see two gay Jews perform holiday material? Iconic, drag legend Sherry Vine joins myself, Ariel Versace, and comedienne extraordinaire Martha Salzman-Gay and Di the Comedian Hargrove. (You will want to see Di play Bill Cosby as we sing our rendition of “Baby it’s Cold Outside…”) Catch Sherry Vine on gaySVTV on YouTube for her collection of HIGH-larious videos and classics such as “Shit My Pants!” (Bad Romance parody). If you’re a cheap ass like myself and have Hulu instead of cable, check out her cable show, “She’s Living for this!”

For the first time in the twenty years or so I have known Miss Vine, I was able to distract her and wrench the cock out of her mouth for a brief period of time, and ask her a few questions. Here’s what she had to say until she overpowered me and went back to work…

BL:You have had a long and GAYmayzing drag career spanning centuries! As one of the original NYC premier queens, what’s the secret to keeping up with the two million new drag queens that have flooded the market since drag race began?
Sherry: LOL! Yes, back during the Ming Dynasty it was easier to draw a crowd – less competition! But now that anyone can put on a wig and be a drag star lol, But I just keep doing what i do and hope people want to see it. I’ve always been a hard worker and I still love it soooo much!!

BL:Parodies seem to be your forte-do the lyrics just flow naturally to you? What’s your process as to which parodies go to your stage performance rather than the ones that you produce into one of your infamous YouTube videos?
Sherry: I have literally been writing parodies my entire life – even before Sherry Vine. I used to rewrite the songs to the musicals we were doing in high school. So I guess it does come naturally and I’m demented. lol. Some parodies come out very easily and I can write one in 3 minutes. But sometimes it can take days or weeks! If it’s a song that’s a big hit and I want to write a parody it can be involved. Especially a rap song like my new Nicki Minaj parody of Hey Mama – it’s a lot of words and rhyming. And trust me, for everyone that’s a “hit” there are 10 that flop!! Lol. I audition a lot of new material at my weekly show in NYC so when people see me out of town, like Philly, they luckily get the ones that have passed inspection!

BL:Speaking of videos, tell the kids about SVTV and how that came about?
Sherry: gaySVTVworld is the brainchild of me and my creative business partner Josh Rosenzweig. We have worked together for over 20 years. He was the director of our theatre company Theatre Couture and he produced/directed my variety show She’s Living For This on Here TV. We wanted to create more content that was all LGBTQ and drag and own 100% of it so we re-branded my YouTube channel. It’s amazing to me how many people work so hard on it and all the content is free. It’s the gay Netflix but free! lol. Our next big project is Oy To The World – 8 new music parody videos by 8 different directors, one for each night of Hanukkah!
BL:I see “She’s Living For This!” on Hulu-any chance of us seeing more Sherry Vine coming back to cable?
Sherry: Honestly, that show was my all time life-long dream come true! We definitely want to do something like that next year!! So many people have been commenting on it and seeing it on Hulu – praise goddess! Tabu, 200 South 12th St,

Dec 16th-Drag Me to Landmark:Holiday ExDRAGvaganza:Landmark Americana Glassboro Astala Vista brings all the kids up to Joisey for a night of holiday queers. This little spitfire has grown into such an amazing performer and host and can hold her own with the big girls! Special guests include Vinchelle, Pissi Myles, and Miss Terra Hyman. This place-much like my uterus-packs em in and fills up quickly-get your tickets before the show and tell em Brittany sent ya-I’ll be there with the kids in January! 1 Mullica Hill Road, Glamssboro, NJ, (856) 863-6600

Dec. 17-Therapy Not Included at 9pm/Front Street Dive
Brought to you by Sinnamon’s Spice Rac and hosted by Mistor Fahrenheit, this night of burlesque is a “burlesque show of ruined childhoods”. Ugh, I hear ya sister! I couldn’t even speak when they cancelled “Dancin on Air” and “Punky Brewster’. You can’t even find those on Amazon! Front Street Dive-10 S Front St.

Dec. 21-VERA Xmas Show at 9pm at VERA!
VERA has become a hot showcase for the queens over in Jersey! The now infamous, monthly event is having its first holiday show-so show some holiday spirit by drinking some holiday spirits, and expect a fist bump or two with some high high by both the queens and the audience members. Hey-it’s Cherry Hill-whaddaya expect? Hosted by Ariel Versace, with performances by Maria Top Catt, Chasity St. Cartier, and meeee Brittany Lynn! Sit on our laps and tell us what ya want in your stocking this year 2310 Marlton Pike W, Cherry Hill, NJ.; (856) 486-1001

Dec. 24-The Nondenominational Super Fun HoliGAY Show! At 9pm @ Tabu!
The Gayborhood’s gayest gaggle of gays gather together to celebrate all the weirdness of the HoliGays. Join Aurora Whorealis, Eric Jaffe, and Abowla Dix and they celebrate ALL the holidays-just without the annoying family and extravagant gift giving. Well I’m sure Aurora has some things she can pass onto you-shes the gift that keeps on giving. You may need a shot after…of penicillin. But it’s fine because there’s no cover! So come on out and play and make it nice! Tabu, 200 South 12th Street, (215) 

Well that’s all for now kids-everyone have a safe and blessed holiGAY. Make it nice and come see my tree! It’s at Macy’s on the third floor…

Love and lashes,
Brittany Lynn

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20 Philly Events Worth Your Entertainment While in December

It’s no secret that each month Philly is just bursting with all kinds of fabulous music and entertainment events, with December being no exception as we get ready for Mr. Claus (how many more days??) and prepare to say “bye, Felicia” to 2015.

Dive mistletoe first into Philly Mixtape’s 20 Philly Events calendar for December, which is all wrapped up in red like Ms. Kelly and exploding with all the local and legendary holiday entertainment truth you can handle. 

Ready..set..naughty or nice? 

DJ Chris Urban at L’etage If you haven’t gotten the esteemed chance to dance your life away to this local DJ’s fiery L’etage Saturday night residency yet, you’re getting a lump of coal in your stocking this year.10 P.M. every Saturday, $5, L’etage

Songbird Season 5/All-stars vs. Newbies This month, things will really be heating up because in just a few weeks, there where will be winner crowned who will rightfully own the title of being Philly’s best singer. All meaning, don’t miss out.  Every Tuesday, 8.P.M, $8, Tabu Lounge & Sports Bar

The Macy’s Christmas Light Show/Everyday until Dec 31st A holiday staple since before the snowballs of time, there’s really no better way to take a break for a moment from all that shopping and revel in Macy’s wonderful annual Christmas lights display that whimsically dances around to some of your favorite holiday melodies. Macy’s, every two hours beginning at 10 A.M to 8 P.M. 

A Christmas Story/now through Jan 10th Since making its official Broadway debut in 2012, the stage adaption of the classic holiday film has earned a whole lot of fabulously festive buzz and a trio of Tony Awards. Lucky for us, we won’t have to travel to The Great White Way to warn Ralphie that he’ll shoot his eye out, because the cheery musical has found a home right here in Philly for the holidays. Walnut St. Theatre, $120-$350, various times

The Philly Pops Christmas Spectacular/Now through Dec. 22, 2015 A show that will be just bursting with delightful seasonal classics and glorious gospel music (and Santa!) the Philly Pops Christmas Spectacular is another glorious way for the whole family to enjoy the holidays together. Kimmel Center, ticket prices & show times vary 

Freeze:A Toys for Tots Extravaganza/Dec 10th Join the fabulous Miss Cyoni Dharling, Brooklyn Ford and DJ Carl Michaels (plus many more special guests) as they bring you this free event that will feature Stoli drink specials, complimentary nibbles and fun raffle prizes. The best part is that it’s showing lots of love for Toys for Tots, so don’t forget to bring an unwrapped gift for the kids! Valanni Social, 10 P.M., no cover 

Code Red/Dec 11th In what has quickly become the hottest event of December, Mikel Tambon and his fiercely talented cast of drag divas are back to take over Voyeur Nightclub and rightfully serve everyone with another dazzling installment of this incredible fundraiser event that will raise money for local organizations AIDS Fund, Mazzoni Center and MANNA. But you better hurry because these tickets are going quick. Go here right away for more info. 

Philadelphia Orchestra Holiday Concert Messiah/December 11-13 Usually limited to one performance a year, world renowned composer Yannick Nézet-Séguin and his orchestra will be treating us to three shows this year, which will make the holiday season three times as naughty or nice. Kimmel Center, various tickets prices & times 

Pennsylvania Ballet Presents George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker/Dec 11th-31stThe closest we’ll ever get to real life sugarplums dancing around our heads, it just isn’t the holidays without the Pennsylvania Ballet’s take on Balanchine’s world famous holiday sonnet. Make a new tradition for you and yours with a Philly tradition that’s been running at the Academy of Music for 47 years strong now. various dates & times

What Makes Me Pissi/Dec 12th Ms. Myles is back and more Pissi than ever, only this time, she’s reindeer ready and eager to serve up Mrs. Claus realness in the latest installment of her hilarious monthly drag-stravaganza. L’etage, 8 P.M., $6

Cash Cash/Dec 12th If you’re looking to escape the city for a fun night out this month, head to A.C. and show some local music love to N.J. based electronic group Cash Cash, who’ll be ready to liven up with your holiday season by performing a selection of their biggest jams, which will most likely include hits, “Take Me Home” and “Surrender.” Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa, 10 P.M, $30 

The Eric Jaffe Holiday Special!/Dec 13th World ukulele champion Eric Jaffe is back for another festive holiday spectacle, which will feature a packed sleigh’s worth of local entertainers who will be serving up comedic candy cane twists on some your favorite holiday tunes. Mariah, you’ve been warned. Franky Bradley’s, 8 P.M, $10 

Questlove/The Foundry/Dec 13th Since his show last month was so successful, Jimmy Fallon’s music bestie is back for another live music round in his hometown. Really, what could be better than a littttle Questlove to deck your music halls this season? The Foundry, 11 P.M, $25-$55 

Bradley’s Bucks/12/16 If you’re looking to be mesmerized by a herd of talented dancing gentlemen (get to know them right here) this month, then Franky Bradley’s has got you covered when they serve up their latest installment of Bradley’s Bucks, the hottest all-male local dance troupe to ever grace the city of brotherly love’s stages. But that’s just a small portion of the local entertainment pulse that the red-hot local venue will be providing this month, so head right here for all of the Franky Bradley’s truth. Franky Bradley’s, 9:30, $5-$7

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer/The Musical/December 17-20th A live treat for the entire family, the beloved TV classic is about to soar off the screen and onto the stage this holiday season once again. Even better is that this year the iconic film is celebrating 50 years in making us live for our red nosed lives. Merriam Theatre, dates & times vary 

The Eric Jaffe Show/Dec 18th With an incredibly talented roster that includes local singers and chanteuses Keely Sibilia, Tara Hendricks, Ang Bocca and A Johns, Mr. Jaffe’s final act of the year is looking to be quite a fabulous one. Not to mention, we can only imagine what surprises Mr. Jaffe himself will come up for one last time like Ariana in 2015. Tavern on Camac, 7:30 P.M., no cover 

Disney on Ice Presents 100 Years Of Magic! December 24/January 3, 2016 Join Mickey, Minnie, Donald, and all of your favorite Disney princes and princesses as Disney on Ice Presents 100 Years of Magic at the Wells Fargo Center, which will be rightfully serving up sing-alongs to all those classic Disney songs that you claim you don’t know the words to, but really do. Now is your time to shine. Oh, and it;’s great for the kids, too! Wells Fargo Center, ticket prices & times vary 

Philadelphia Orchestra Holiday Concert New Year’s Eve with Yannick Nézet-Séguin/December 31Even though he’ll already be serving Philly with three shows this month, the famed composer will be back to help ring in the New Year by serving up a night of music that you’ll never forget. But not to worry, because the concert will end before midnight, giving you plenty of time to party it up one last time in 2015. Kimmel Center, 7:30 P.M, ticket prices vary