It’s Philly’s Phavorite drag Momma, The “Vaginally Challenged” Brittany Lynn, giving you the first sip of my new, monthly column for Philly Mixtape called, ALL the Drag Tea…because some sites serve you reviews of shows that already happened, and some blogs just seem to feature the close friends of the writer…
Soooo….not to be shady (whaddaya mean, too late?) but the Gay Hood needed an all-inclusive column to feature everyone’s hullabaloo. And who better to pour out the deets than this broad, who is celebrating two decades of Philly showgirl staying power in 2016! Most of my friends shoot me shady screen shots of everyone’s biz throughout the day anyway (gotta love my gay girlfriends keeping their talons all over social media), so half of my job was done before I even hit my laptop.
So check back each month, and sip on this tea, with my teabag of the month (our featured drag event) and a “Quickie with Brittany” interview with the gal stirring up that event.
And listen up, qween….if you have something coming up and want it featured, shoot me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll spread it all over the community, like so many other things I have spread before. And remember…keep it cute, kids…
So here’s what going down (besides most of the girls listed in this column) for September. For the full flyer to these events, check out the drag calendar here: September’s Shows N Stunts courtesy of Phillydragmafia.com! (See how I worked that in there!)
-Sept. 18-Drag Brunch with Vinchelle Shae Buttah Werk, Noon
Often mistaken on the street for Beyonce, this Drag Wars winner kicks off your Sunday with a high-energy brunch show-so why did she book me as her special guest? Who can say in these crazy times? I’m thinking about showing up! (Love you Vinchelle xo)
Alma Mater, 7165 Germantown Ave.
-Sept 17-The Sutton Fearce Show, 8pm
Sutton Fearce takes time off from football practice to host the Northeast’s only drag show with her roomie and song belter Katie Mae and the usual list of suspects: Bev, Mimi, and one of our favorites Astala LaVista. Coming from someone who grew up in the Northeast, all I can say is that it explains a lot about Sutton.
Benchwarmers, 2676 Bridge St.
Bob and Barbara’s
-Every Thursday Night, 11pm
Philly’s longest running show celebrating over twenty years with their hostess Lisa Lisa-“a girl so nice they named her twice”. Shake your ass on stage for a Bob & Barbara’s shirt and a shot, catch a different gaggle of girls every week, and listen to Miss Lisa try and pronounce your name-it’s always a great time!
Bob & Barbara’s, 1509 South St.
-Sept. 2 and First Friday Every Month-Franky Foxes, 9:30pm
This amazingly talented group of ladies is giving you a “Back To School” themed show. From their performances I know they all went to dance class, but seeing texts from Maria TopCatt, I’m sure she skipped English.
-Sept. 18-Late Night cabaret, 9pm-NO COVER!
I’ll be hosting a “Too Funny/Too Filthy” musical talent contest with a cash prize courtesy of Scott Johnston and singing horribly inappropriate things alongside my special guest Eric Jaffe!
-Sept. 28th and Last Wednesday Every Month-Agitated, 9pm
My favorite leading lady and sex goddess Honeytree EvilEye teams up with Pilar Salt to present “a group of the most innovative and ballsy artists in Philly to pick a social/political issue that impacts them and make a piece about it”. It gets ridiculous and always on point at this monthly show.
Franky Bradley’s, 1320 Chancellor St.
-Sept. 1-All Stars Drag Race Viewing Party
Icandy is bringing the divas to Philly to represent all month long for their Drag Race All Stars viewing parties. Hosted by Mistor Fahrenheit with Special guest Tatianna
-Sept. 4th-White Party
Wear that white outfit before Labor Day and avoid the queens reading your fashion choices after the holiday. Hosted by Nebraska Thunderfuck and Derrick Barry!
-Third Thursday of every month-Petty Thursdays
Chasity St. Cartier, the queen of petty von pettiness, searches for “the most petty, bitchy and downright harshest performance” to will win the biggest booking fee of the night! If you can out petty Chasity, I’m scare o’ you girl…
-Sept. 21st-Coco Montrese
Catch one of the greatest talents to come out of Drag Race live and in person-and bring the coins to tip cuz this gal can twirl like no other!
Icandy, 254 S.12th St.; for start times, check out clubIcandy.com
-Every Wednesday Night-Karaoke Wednesdays with Iris Spectre, 10:30pm
Join Iris every week and sing some tunes. Please do-it stops her from singing. Get there early to grab a seat-this place gets packed with drags and their family every week!
Knock, 225 South 12th St.
-Sept. 17-Women of the Moose Show, 6pm
If you happen to be out in New Jersey, catch this Philly invasion! Hosted by Donna Ria, and featuring the hysterical Pissi Myles, our fave fortune cookie Lady Geisha, the supreme diva La Tina, the Goddess Isis, and London.
North Hudson Moose Lodge-Chapter 810, 6118, Newkirk Ave., New Bergen, Nj.
-Sept. 4th-Tommy’s Girls, 7pm
This annual MS benefit comes to Tabu with its host- the “Senator of the Gayborhood” Crystal Electra and special guests from around the gay hood coming together to raise coins for the upcoming MS Walk.
-Every Thursday-All Stars Viewing Party and Talented Ta-Tas with Navaya Shay, 8pm
Join Navaya Shay for the Drag Race All Stars viewing party on Tabu’s big screens, then stick around as she hosts a weekly talent contest for new as well as seasoned performers. If you want to get a performance slot, hit her up and win some $$$. Just don’t ask her to do math. She’s blonde, so very, very blonde.
-Sept. 9-Fish Tank, 9pm
Ariel Versace’s monthly show serves up the catch of the day-and a lot of the jersey Shore hairstyles-with Miss Troy, Maria TopCatt, Lady Geisha, and Satine Harlow.
-Sept. 23-Showgirl Showcase, 9pm
Four hostesses giving you four different shows in one night! Stick around and catch each set full of performances, contests, and tons of alcohol-with NO COVER ALL NIGHT LONG! Honeytree EvilEye, Icon Ebony Fierce and her ferocious vogue tracks, everyone’s favorite songstress Brittany Marie, and a surprise guest kick off this monthly show.
-Sept. 24-Bev’s Bitchfest, 9pm
Bev and her friends present a hilarious show with all the topics everyone is bitching about-like watching the View but they don’t worry about offending the audience-featuring Lili St. Queer, Vinchelle, Dusty Relix, Khaki Capri, Sutton Fearce, Anita Manhattan, and Juicy Liu from NYC’s So You Think You Can Drag Cycle 6
Sept. 27th–The Show, 9pm
The Show comes to Tabu! Performers pitch their shows and talents in this competition-hosted by season one winner Shannon Turner with yours truly and Bev at the judges table! Kind of like Shark Tank, but really gay.
-Every Sunday-Sinful Sundays, 10pm
The sisters of sin start your week off sinning in case you spent too much time at church! And there’s no cover so you can drink more!
Tabu, 200 S. 12th St., Tabuphilly.com
Tavern on Camac
-Every Thursday-Gaybil, 10pm Cleo Phatra really bangs out the Broadway in this live, cabaret show featuring different guests every week. I wanna come and sing some Miss Saigon, but only if she makes me one of her patented Disco-monos! Tavern on Camac, 243 S. Camac St.
-Every Tuesday Night-Kinky Quizzo, 10pm
Come play Kinky Quizzo with hostess Aloe Vera every week to win $100 worth of sex toys. If the questions make you horny, $5 drink specials and $5 guac takes the guessing out of bottoming later. However, the most fun part of the night is listening Aloe try and read the questions.
Valanni, 1229 Spruce St.
-Sept. 8-Drag Wars Finale, 10:30pm
Judge Ariel Versace says this night is not to be missed as Anita Manhattan, Miss Troy, Abowla Dix, Estella Sweet, Anna Rexia, and Francesca St. Cartier fight for the crown of this season’s Drag Wars. Brooklyn Ford and Bev will be sitting at the judge’s table giving so much side eye they can see everyone in the club all at the same time. And there’s free bologna sandwhiches after you’ve had a few shots.
Voyeur, 1221 St. James St.
And now our favorite favorite cup of tea!
September’s Spotlight:-Sept. 24-Miss’d America, 8:30pm
This legendary pageant that began at Atlantic City’s infamous Studio Six Dance Club and Resort-as a parody of Miss America-now takes over the runway at the Borgata. Hosted by Carson Kressley, Miss’d America brings girls from all over the nation to compete for the title and SERVE. And just like Highlander, there can only be one. Watch out kids, the nails come out-but all for a good cause. Judges include PGN Publisher Mark Segal, former Miss’d America (the bitch beat me haha) and designer Morgan Wells, a who’s who of Atlantic City royalty, and Robert Sandy Beach, who helped create the Miss’d America Pageant in its beginnings. In my mind, this is the ONLY pageant to see and be seen at-Fifi DuBois gives up her title as Miss’d America 2015.
The Borgata; 1 Borgata Way, Atlantic City, NJ.
A Quickie with Brittany
I had a moment to chat with Fifi about her reign, and all the feels of snatching the title of Miss’d America. Here is what she had to say:
B: Miss’d America gets contestants from all over the country. And each girl has her personal reasons to enter such a wild pageant. What was your motivation to enter?
Fifi: I entered my first year because I was finishing a six month contract on a cruise and I wanted to come back with a bang! But the 2 consecutive years after that I competed I came back because I had an absolute blast! It is so rewarding to perform on such a large stage, for such an incredible audience, and in a pageant with such great production value!
B: We sold out last year! And that audience is a dream-they are with you every step of the pageant! Now girl, Miss’d America is truly unlike any other pageant presented today. What was your best experience of the night?
Fifi: That moment when they called my name because of course we’re our own worst critics and I had gone over everything that had gone wrong and thought there was no way it was me. I was honestly so shocked and Dumbfounded.
B: Girl you danced your ass off that night-you deserved it! And now you get to sit with all of us former winners and watch the new crop of gals each year. At Miss’d America, we truly are a family. The best time is in the dressing room with all of these old bitties. So let me ask you, what are three things every Miss’d America should have in her purse?
Fifi: Your business card, because any meeting could be a business meeting. Also a cd or usb because any opportunity to perform is worth the exposure with very few exceptions.And a “SHEmergency kit” filled with drag essentials i.e. Duct tape, a powder puff, condoms…etc.
B: And lastly, what advice do you have for this year’s crop of contestants?
Fifi: Make the most of your year, create your own opportunities, and carry this title with a heavy heart and an open one. But most important have Fun, you won Gurl!!!
There you have it kids-ALL THE TEA-and then some. This was a lot, now I gotta go lay down. See you all out and about! Remember make every day a little bit gayer and throw some damn glitter on it…
Love and lashes,