March 29, 2019….
No, that’s not the date the government shutdown will finally-in-the-name-of Ce Ce Peniston rear its ugly end(well..),no–and get ready to clutch those Ms. Jackson-if-you-re-nasty-and-we-are pearls–it’s the blessed day that the Queen of Our Slayed Music Lives, the legendary Janet Jackson will get oh, so rightfully inducted into the coveted Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Also joining Ms. Poetic Justice herself in the induction ceremonies (which will take place in Brooklyn’s Barclay Center) will be The Cure (Robert!), Radiohead(Thom!), Def Lepperd(“Sugar!), The Zombies, Roxy Music and our beloved Princess of Scarves, Ms. Stevie Nicks. (!!!!!!!!)
But alas…it is Janet who is going to be stealing all of our MTV Icon hearts with this outstanding achievement that we all must prepare for in just eight grueling long weeks.
However, the 2019 music and pop culture forecast suggests that janet. may be once again snatching a year to call her own (yes, boo) beyond the Rock and Roll and Hall of Fame induction…..
…….and here’s 6 reasons why we’re still just not worthy of her long-lasting diva prowess even all of these choreo slay-ed years later.
1.Because the nomination took for….ev…..er….. When Janet’s RRHOF nomination was announced last year–while indeed it was most celebrated–many people (okay, everyone) pondered as to why it took so damn long. Well, you know there was thing that happened allllll the way back in 2004, and beyond that…we have no fucking clue as to why.
But we digress, and beggars certainly can’t be choosers, so we choose to live our best 2019 life around her coveted RRHOF nomination all year-long. Finally get the point? Good. Let’s dance for Janet…and get ready.
2.Because Rhythm Nation 1814 is turning 30 this year….. No, you’re not hallucinating, well, maybe a little because it’s so hard to believe that September 19th of this here year marks three decades since Janet served us with her life/game changing musical masterpiece, Rhythm Nation 1814.
And while it’s ridiculously easy to spill tea until the end of music time (it never ends, Praise the Lawd) about one of the best recorded (and still most relevant) albums ever, we must prepare to lose ourselves in all of its gorgeousness once more…today.
Hoop earring/key combo? Check. Timeless Ms. J choreography? It’s time to start practicing. RN 1814 interludes for days? You know it.
Eight Billboard chart owning singles? Oh, yas, Janet kweens–“Miss You Much,” “Rhythm Nation,” “Escapade,” “Alright,” “Come Back to Me,””Black Cat,” “Love Would Never Do(Without You),” and “State of the World,” and they’re all still here for us. Because when it comes to this album, it’s time to listen up and start celebrating right this second. There’s really nothing else to say but 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…go.
3.Because we’re ALL still feeling “Made For Now”…… Last year, Janet served us with this Daddy Yankee featured ditty……and we just can’t figure out why it didn’t spend ninety-five weeks owning the top of the Billboard Hot 100. But rather than throw shade at all of those who haven’t reveled in its glorious werk, we’ll all (you just have to) just watch its accompanying video over-and-over again and try not to live our best lves to its glowing choreography and brilliantly shot NYC scenes. And when it comes to Ms. J’s nearly half-a-dozen costume changes? Gurrrl, you betta.
4.Because that 2019 Ms. Janet album, though….. Of course, “MFN” certainly needs a full record to call its home, and rumor has it that our Queen is silently at work on a follow-up to her 2015 set, Unbreakable. We know that Janet likes to take her creative time with the recording process (leave her alone, she’s werkin’ here), so that’s just what we’re going to do. In the meantime, let’s get through those lonely we-need-a-new-janet-album-now nights together and patiently wait for her next artistic adventure.
5.Because she is a true survivor….and will continue the fight for ALL of us this year and beyond…. So, how does one finally overcome that ridiculous 2004 drama (those halftime shows are a bitch, eh, JT?) and later on, pain-in-her/our-ass baby mama drama? (thank you, next,Wissam Al Mana) You serve the world with your box office destroying State of the World Tour and show the god damn universe why you will always be The Qween Ms. Janet. No further statements…just take a gander at those receipts. And that adorable son of yours? Another reason why we’ll be liv-ing for you the rest of our slayed lives.
6.Do you really need another reason? For the love of all of those nasty boys…..it’s the legendary, iconic and inspiring Mizz Janet Jackson we’re spilling tea about here! And March 2019, 2019 can’t get here fast enough. Who’s ready? Everyone…and we can’t fucking wait.
Cover photo courtesy of our Queen of Life