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All of the Pride Month Tea w/ Ms. Brittany Lynn

Oh, Heyyyyyyy June!

Lawwwwd it’s time for Pride! Everybody has been eating two tics tacs a day with a glass of water since late March in preparation to show off their summer bodies during the gay high holidays. And let me tell you….and I’m sure I did in person….I did a 45 day cleanse to get myself together for this year! Mother is ready to take on MULTIPLE prides in three states-plus a whole buncha other giggidy-gig gigs like bringing Drag Queen Story Time to Philly! And I’m gayer than gay to tell you kids about other shows and stunts a-happenin’ in the gay hood! So get your gay, romper wanting’ selves ready for all this….HAPPY PRIDE!

Sunday, June 4/Drag Quizzo for Woodbury Pride I’ll be stalking the hotties of Joisey as I host a quizzo fundraiser for the gay gang of Woodbury Pride! There will be 6-8 rounds of trivia complete with dance offs and door prizes. $20 at the door gets you in, no more than 5 to a team, and no cell phones or cheating unless you want to wear the wig of shame! For our inaugural year, all money raised will go to the Human Rights Campaign, which you can spill it up right here and check it out.  6 pm, Eight and Sand, 1003 N Evergreen Ave, Woodbury, NJ.; (856) 537-1339

Tuesday, June 6/Drag Queen Story Time
Drag Queen Story Time comes to Philly as I she regale the children with tales of diversity, acceptance, and the importance of being true to oneself! This is a special storytime for children of all ages. Get your library card life together and read about it right here, kween!  4 pm, Fumo Library, 2437 S Broad St.; (215) 685-1758

Friday, June 9/Haus 
Drag baby Pi is growing up quickly and is having a throwback! The category is: 90’s, club kid EXTRAVAGANZA over at the ‘Bu! Get ready to walk the ONLY walk with your Party Monster-esque club gear to win some coin-with hosts and guest appearances by all the up and coming future legends!
 10 pm, Tabu-200 S. 12th St.

Friday, June 9/Transparency: An LGBTQ Glass Art Exhibit 
This is a featured sip of tea for my fave non-drag event of the month. From the event page itself: “Meet some of the artists. view the gallery, enjoy free refreshments, a glass art raffle, and more! NLM is proud to partner with the Human Rights Campaign for the Opening Reception of Transparency. Representatives from the HRC will be in attendance to discuss their organization and mission. This event is free but we suggest a $10 donation to support NLM’s public programming.
“Transparency” is the nation’s first museum exhibit of studio glass works produced exclusively by artists of the LGBTQ+ community. This is a celebration of identity and freedom that will showcase the diverse subjects, methods, and styles explored by these glass artists. Learn more about “Transparency” here. 530 pm, National Liberty Museum, 321 Chestnut St.

              

Saturday, June 10-Sunday, June 11th Mother will be out of hosting CAPITAL PRIDE WEEKEND for the Distrkt C PRIDE-Powered by Scruff concert for my daddy Bruce Everett featuring some of the best track artists and DJ’s of all gay time! I will not only be appearing with INAYA DAY for the opening party, but I will be singing and hosting at the indoor/outdoor music festival with CRYSTAL WATERS, KRISTINE W, AMUKA, and KIM ENGLISH! (And my future spank bank Dylan Knight) And this line up of dj’s has me wetter than Spring! With the biggest Pride march happening since 1993, D.C. I am all up and about you! This is one for the history books kids… 

Friday, June 16/Porcelain’s Doom:Pride Edition Porcelain sadly presents her monthly goth-opera with her amazingly talented and ghastly troupe! Get here early because this show packs the house down! C’mon demon Pride! 10 pm, Tabu-200 S. 12th St.

Sunday, June 18/Last Call for Pride with Willam Belli at Icandy at 10pm PHILLY PRIDE! And after all the parade and bar-hopping-let’s see who’s wig still stands tall and proud as we hit Icandy for “Last Call for Pride with Willam Belli” Hosted by yours truly and my evil step-daughter Ariel Versace-with special guests from the gay gaggle of queens still standing! For tickets, walk it out right here.  10 pm, Icandy-254 S 12th St.

   

Monday, June 19/The Final, Final Farewell Tour of Dick & Delores DelRubio 
I know it’s the day after Pride, but this is one of those shows that worth digging yourself out of the dirt after Pride! Touring the country, this show is “a hilarious homage to the husband and wife lounge act duo, Dick and Delores DelRubio. Dick and Delores share their stories of celebrity, love, life and entertaining. From competing with Liz Taylor, wedding Elvis, bedding Donald Trump and performing in burlesque, Dick and Delores will literally charm the pants right off of you!” Let’s show these guys some Philly love! 8 pm, Tabu, 200 S. 12th St.

Tuesday, June 20/Transformation Tuesday  It’s Transformation Tuesday as Zephyra debuts her first show with Khaki Capri, Areola Grande, and gayborhood favorite/Olympic athlete star Vinchelle! 8 pm, Tabu-200 S. 12th St.

Friday, June 23/Hosting Drag Queen Story Time w/Aurora Whorealis 
Do your kids love princesses, sparkle, and the magic of fairy tales? Then join us as we enjoy stories, fun, snacks, and a glittery art project! This is a glamorous, queer positive, all-ages family-focused event-be sure to register now as tickets are almost all sold out!
545 pm, Lume Creative Studios, 1916 East Passyunk Avenue 

            

Sunday, June 25/Drag Brunch at Bourbon & Branch The gals are back at Bourbon and Branch with a new sponsor and all new shenanigans! Join myself, Navaya Shay, Crystal Electra, and Maria Top Catt as we serve the hippiest of hot hipsters down in No Libs! 1130 am, Bourbon and Branch-705 N 2nd St.

Sunday, June 25/Drag Attack! Vanessa Sterling brings her amatueur drag contest over to the ‘Bu! Hope we have enough Coors lite for this bitch! Qweens-come and play to win $100 for the best sashsaying performance! Then stick around for Sinful Sundays! 7 pm, Tabu, 200 S. 12th St.

Tuesday, June 27/Rabbit Punch Pilar Salt, Mae Rose, and Minnie Crisis deliver a night of “off-kilter” drag and burlesque. Come and learn a few things kids as these masters show you how it’s done, and what “off-kilter” means…9 pm, Tabu, 200 S. 12th St.

That’s a whole lot of shows and stunts coming up! Pride month always has the Gayborhood queens working and doing what they do best-supporting the gay hood. But then again, I always believed that the drag queens, kings, performers, burlesquers, etc. are the lifeblood of gayborhoods everywhere. We are not only entertainers, but we are money-generating talents that use our powers for the greater good. So much, in fact, that the symbol for drag queens should be a dollar bill standing in a big ass, gay pump with a friggin’ two foot tall WigsbyChariel pompadour lacefront. We bring the people, our friends, our families, and just about everyone we meet on the street to the bars and clubs we support and serve. Think about it-who are the first people called when someone has a fundraiser and needs a host? Who are the first people called when venues think about any event? Who are the first people called when the news wants to do a fun piece on gay culture? That’s right-the QUEENS. And when you’re a really talented gal and you can tour, sometimes you get yourself an agent-someone to handle your business. Hell, when I first started getting gigs, many venues were offering-and this is no joke-free admission to the club that night, some drinks tickets, and a bathroom to change in. Mind you, the bathroom was not private, you were supposed to leave your stuff in a public bathroom with people going in and out of the room all night. That was when I started Drag Mafia-a union of sorts for drag queens and performers. Anyone who worked with me knew they were going to get certain amenities that venues did not readily bring to the table-a private changing space, our drinks, our friends on a guest list, and guaranteed pay when we walked in the door. Then again, I was blessed to have been beginning my drag career when mega clubs were on the rise (Shampoo, Studio Six/Club Tru in Atlantic City, Evolution, the Renegade in Rehoboth, and Nation in D.C.)-and social media was just getting to the Myspace level. So how did people know what was going on and where all the buzz is happening-the birth of the big promoters. Philly saw all the names like Justin Bruno and Shade Productions, Cyoni, Natasha, Noel Zayas, Gage and Twisted Life, Larry Evans and his “mega-men”-and the daddy of all daddies in the Promoter heyday-Dan Contarino. Miss Contarino, or “Connie” as we called her, sat at the helm of the Shampoo Empire which started ALL THE CAREERS of many of the legendary set. Thanks to Dan, Drag Mafia’s First Fridays were the biggest and most attended drag shows in Philly history for nearly a decade-with no less than 500-600 people.

And she has the tapes to prove it….

Promoters used street teams to blanket the city and compliant venues with flyers, posters, VIP passes, drink tickets-you name it we did it. This was grassroots efforts kids-many of remember always going out with something in our hands to pass out wherever we went. And those passes were valuable as many cover charges for events started at $10 and went up to $25 when there were track artists and mega-star DJ’s to be seen and heard. And the fact that many venues stayed open till 8-10am did not hurt lol.

We fought the good fight and let the dance floors of these megalith venues have at it for years and years, then a shift in the club scene happened-with the demise of these venues-and we all went crawling back to our smaller venues. The circuit style events were laid to rest, but there were other events to be had, parties to be thrown, and shows to be created-so the scene gave birth to a new set of promoters and event planners. And while our gayborhood is seeing the biggest birth of scene queens and shows in all the years I’ve been stomping on these grounds, there’s some work to be done till we hit paradise again. And we will get to that in a bit. But first, kiddies, I reached out to two of my gayest girlfriends, who have both done mountains of work in creating moments of magic for our gay city blocks.

My first Quickie with Brittany is with my gay daddy-Bruce Yelk. Mr. Yelk created his brand Nightlifegay.com while we were still living under Shampoo’s umbrella-once a month Bruce took over Shampoo for his own branding of entertainment, DJ’s, and performers. Once Shampoo closed its doors, Bruce still served us Dragapalooza, the Pink Pub Crawl, Mr. Gay Philadelphia, and the Gayborhood Games. Now Yelk is in D.C. throwing the biggest events via his Distrkt C parties-and this year he is putting together events that will bring us all back together to relive the grand days with a new generation of gays serving Pride in our nation’s capital. I owe a lot to Bruce, we have worked together since day one, and when I ask him why he keeps bringing this old broad back to host these big events, he always replies with, “Nobody can do what you do.” And that’s when you know you got a good, gay girlfriend that believes in you. With a whole lotta trust to give a gal a hosting job for events he puts his life into-and I could not be happier to stand side by side with Bruce during D.C. Pride weekend…

Bruce….many legends of the gayborhood all got their start at the infamous Shampoo Nightclub-with thanks to Dan Contarino who created what was likely the greatest era of nightlife Philly has ever seen. Shampoo had the biggest DJ’s of the world, track artists, queens from all over the globe-with staff that included yourself, Cyoni Darling, Phoenixx, Shannon Niland, Noel Zayas, Shade Production’s Justin Bruno, Natasha-and of course Drag Mafia. How can you put into words this era of the scene for the people who missed out on an entire decade of decadence? It really was a decade of where Philadelphia competed in the nightlife scene with the best in the country. Not only did the owners of Shampoo put together one of the best and brightest staff in the business but it changed the game by offering the city the first late night party. Suddenly, Philadelphia had a nightlife scene that could compete with NYC and D.C. Unfortunately, other clubs followed Shampoo’s lead but were not as professional and could not deliver the same product or safety for the consumer. When that happens-laws often change or restrictions are put in place and it eventually kills the party scene. Looking at the scene today it is sad to see the level of talent skipping over Philadelphia because of these restrictions. Fortunately for me and Distrkt C, Washington, D.C. is just a train or bus ride away.

What are five things people would never know about Bruce Yelk?  1. I hate scary movies where someone is trying to hurt someone else for no reason….won’t watch…….2. I could care less about label for clothing. I’m not impressed by what you wear…….3. I respect doers and talkers annoy me…the worst you can do is fail but you tired. Get in the game……4. I’m really chill until I ask you the same thing several times and the situation doesn’t change. Then the Taurus in me comes out…….5. I know it’s wrong but jokes about stereotypes crack me up. Give me a good “fag” joke anytime…I’m not offended.

The formula of headlining DJ, dancers, big track performers seemed to stop working in Philly, yet you are KILLING IT in D.C. with the Distrkt C parties-what are the difference between the Philly and DC scenes that keeps the circuit element alive there? Couple of things make the difference. First, the laws here are not conducive to great late night nightlife as I stated above. It also takes a great venue that works with your concept and they are hard to find. Finally, the venues, promoters and patrons need to be realistic and stop looking for Madonna on a $5 cover. What you get is a $5 party and that doesn’t include anyone with a national profile.

You gave Philly the Pink Pub Crawl, Dragapalooza, Mr. Gay Philly, the Gayborhood Games-will we ever a return for any of these types of events for us here in Philly? This seems to be the million dollar question for me in the last year. Never say never, but I do not have any current plans for events in Philadelphia. It is my home. So, I hope that I do some time down the road but it’s all about timing.

Tell the kids about D.C. Pride for 2017-since the march of ’93, this is such an important year for everyone to be seen and heard at our nation’s capital-and probably the biggest event you have put together as a promoter. Tell us all what’s in store!!! First, this D.C. Pride is history in the making with the call for a national march and Donald Trump in office. Hundreds of thousands of LGBTQ people will pour into D.C. to demand their rights on June 10 & 11. As someone who attended the 1993 march – Do not miss this opportunity to be part of history. You will be forever changed as a person when you experience that type of community in one place at one time. As for Distrkt C Pride – Powered by Scruff, it’s two big days with the Official Party of Capital Pride kicking off at 10pm on Saturday night. Billboard artist, Inaya Day will perform with DJs Gauthreaux + Grind with Philly’s own Jared Conner opening. On Sunday, it’s just like Shampoo’s late night indoor/outdoor festivals except BIGGER. Doors open at 5pm with Billy Carroll spinning disco and classics before the outdoor concert with Crystal Waters, Kristine W, and Kim English kicks-off at 8:30pm. Inside, DJ Roland Belmares will command the t-dance at 6pm before the late night session begins at 10pm with DJs: X Gonzalez, Twisted Dee Martello and Morabito (one of Philly’s favorite DJs). Doors close on Monday morning at 11am – NOW THAT’S A PARTY!  Oh…there are a few unannounced surprises at well but you have to show up to find out what they are. Get your tickets in advance (right here) to save over the door prices. 

Thanks daddy-I’ll see you soon!

Next up for a Quickie with Brittany is my sister, Henry Brinton-aka Hennastacia Beach. At one point in time, everyone around us thought they would never see us together in the same room, but people change and grow. We got past whatever was between us, and now we are scarily close and connected, much to the happiness of our mother, Sandy Beach. (Until we put her in a home…) As the face of the Venture Inn, Henry more than saw his share of the Philly scene, giving opportunities to many of the girls and ladyboys you see headlining shows today. Even though we talk almost every day, I wanted to catch up with my much older sister and share her thoughts with the masses about what he has going on these days, and what his take on the current Philly scene.

Everybody knows (or at least has heard) about the Henry behind the bar, and at the front helm of the now defunct Venture Inn. For these new queens springing up every minute of the day, tell them a little about what they missed about the Venture Inn and it’s time in the gayborhood.

Henry: In my opinion Venture was old school. A place to be accepted. Appreciated and the staff kept an eye on everyone to make sure they were safe. We were the only bar in the gayborhood that didn’t need security at the front door. It was the end of an era when Venture closed. I’m trying to have a Venture Inn staff reunion at the beer garden at 36th and Filbert this summer. The best thing i can say about the Venture and its staff….we didn’t tolerate any s**t.



What are five things most people do not know about Henry Brinton?
 1) I try to read at least 2 or 3 books a week. So I have something to talk to customers about……..
2) I collect cookie jars.
……….3) I’ve seen Tina Turner 23 times in concert……..4) I hate Wendy Williams with a passion I can’t describe.
……..5) My personal favorite Gay bar was the Post..Loved it..a filthy dive and never tried to be anything but.



Hennastacia (Henry’s drag persona) can be seen hosting and performing at Tabu for your Spill The Tea Revue, as a hostess/producer, what are five things that you look for when hiring performers?
 I try and be fair. There are too many “cliques” going on. Why do I wanna see the same five girls perform five nights a week. It’s ridiculous. There are so many times one can see a robot costume or the same hairstyle on five girls. So when I put the show together, I look for people that wanna perform. I feel like I use the “Island of Misfit Toys” girls and give them a chance to perform. I think everyone that has the desire to perform should have that chance. Shouldn’t matter what clique you’re in or if you’re gonna work for free. Drag isn’t cheap and if you perform, you get paid. Sorry that’s not something that negotiable. Understandable budgets are different. Plus I’ll cancel a show as it’s supposed to start. Bring your ass in on time. You’re not on Drag Race and I’m sorry you’re not filling stadiums. Bring your ass on time. Worst is when the host isn’t ready until an hour after the time posted. Oh, Uber is running late. Oh I have to go live on Facebook. NO…Get the hell over yourself. Your an ugly man in a goddamn dress. Show up on time queen. And wash your pads and clothes, nothing worse then smelling like garbage and doing the same song 6 times a week.



How much of Henry is involved in Hennastacia’s persona?
 Well unlike some girls. Henry/Hennastacia are one in the same. I respect drag for the opportunity it gives some people to explore a side of themselves they are too shy to do as themselves. I try at my shows to make everyone shine. That’s the hosts job. Keep the show moving and give your performers a chance. Talk, promote other shows. Plus word of advice. If you’re not performing, don’t come in drag. It’s not your turn in the spotlight. Take the damn dress off and wash it.



As someone who has given A LOT of performers an opportunity or their big break, what is some advice you have for newbies coming onto the Philly scene? 
Advice. Absolutely. Show up on time. Bring your goddamn music. Take a break and let others shine. Don’t show up week after week in a tiny basement and work for tips. No one wants to see your giant ass in pasties and no pantyhose doing the same number week after week so you have weed money. Learn that not everyone is two-faced. A good deal of them are. But you will find people who want to support you and see you do well just because it’s the right thing to do. Don’t spend a fortune on a dress that is ugly and takes six months to make. If you look miserable while you perform, you’re not getting tipped. And finally take a damn night off. Even you wouldn’t wanna look at yourself in the same dress five nights a week. If your gonna be a comedy queen be funny and not a backstabber trash talker…….MWAH…

Well that’s my sister kids-opinionated and loud mouthed just like the rest of the family. And we wouldn’t have it any other way. So moving on to the last bit of tea…

A few weeks back, I asked my facebook hive if they have ever encountered “booking bullying”-problems facing today’s gayborhood performers with promoters or venues. Why? Not just for this blog, but let’s just say I see it first-hand on a daily basis. Not only as a performer, but as the manager of a venue that showcases talent on a daily basis. And as the “godmother of Philly drag”, many performers come to me with their problems for advice and maybe get a little help from “the family.”

Well, as soon as I made the post, my Facebook messenger flooded with so many screenshots of bullshit that Verizon called me to see if I wanted to expand on my home wifi package. In fact, one promoter sent a mutual friend to see me at work to ask me to not write this blog-but that just shows that this was indeed a problem, right? Kids, there are not enough scones in the world to soak up all the tea that was delivered. But, the reality is, no one is perfect. We all have moments and I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve had my fair share of them. So what I would like to present is words of advice, based on factual moments performers that myself and various performers have had with promoters here in Philly, and my thoughts on how to get past them so you do not find yourself in the same situations. Fair enough? So let’s sip on this…

Promoter vs. Performer
First things first-what are the roles of the promoter versus the performer? In my book, promoters secure the venue, book the talent, book the dj/sound person, create the art for promotions, create the social media for promotions, and oversee the show for the night….

Performers show up (on time), deliver their performance track (in advance), and help spread the word for the event via their own social media. Greet the crowd, give your best performance, and thank those involved for the night. Easy peesey.

Is the responsibility for the performer to create the Facebook event page, hire the other performers, grab their friend who is a DJ and then handle the promotions on their own social media? To an extent, performers should always promote themselves or share the links to events on their social media-it’s just good business. But if you are a performer that has been asked to do all of the above, then you’re really the show’s producer and you just conned to give away your hard earned coin to some person to put their producer name on your event. Bloop.

Venmo a No-No
This is by far one of the bigger problems for performers working in the gay hood these days. You did your job as a performer, shared the event with your friends on social media, spent your time getting ready, nailed your performance, and devoted an entire night to the event you were hired to work. Then your promoter tells you to download venmo or paypal, and promises to get you your pay within a few days. What kind of bullshit is that? Well, if the promoter gave you a head’s up that that was the way the pay works, then it’s on you as the performer to make that decision if you want to take the gig or not. And that’s a lot of trust to give up that the promoter will eventually pay you. But, if you were not forewarned, then I call bullshit. Most promoters will receive cash from the venue or will be taking money from the door. So there’s cash to be had at the end of the night. If a promoter tells you that they have to deposit the money in the bank then venmo you when the cash clears, then it’s time to make a scene. Request that money on venmo everyday until you get it, and learn the lesson.

If the promoter claims they were paid via check, and needs for it to clear, that’s bullshit also. When you are hired, first thing you do is square away the business-how much coin are you getting paid? Once that is determined, then the promoter should HAVE THAT CASH ON HAND, and, ALWAYS PREPARE FOR FAILURE. I had a show in Manyunk a few weeks back to help out a friend with her venue, and literally the only people there were staff and a few walk-ins that were just there to eat, and not to see a show. So I opened up my wallet and paid my performers out of pocket. We made the most out of the night and enjoyed each other’s performances. That’s how you take responsibility. I’ve made the mistake of working with a promoter who always promises to “pack the house” and if there’s little money made at the door, which happens sometimes, this promoter promises to pay everyone and just keeps it-problem is, my name is involved with the event and I have to keep checking with this promoter to see if anyone has been paid. I get it, there’s only $48 from the door and six people need to be paid. Then open up your friggin’ app and send these six people $8 you fuck! Oh, It’s not a lot of money so you’re just going to keep it? Why? Because you dressed up in drag or gave a performance or because you sat at the bar not giving a shit in your everyday clothes not doing any work all night since the show was dead? Not on my watch Mary! You can’t make this shit up-this is a reality of what happens too often.
One promoter tells performers that he/she uses Venmo because it helps keeps track of money for his/her taxes-really Mary? Are you sending 33% of the UNTRACEABLE CASH that was handed to you to the IRS? HARDLY! Where’s a good Judge Judy screaming gif when you need one? There are too many performers in payment purgatory, waiting weeks to get their pay while promoters have events on multiple nights during the week. Some performers tell me they sometimes wait for months. But again, it’s their call to keep working with the promoter happily taking the money from events and dodging hard working performers for their pay. Bottom line: If the promoter wants to pay you via Venmo or another payment app, you should still get your pay that night. Working with people like Astala Vista, Henry Brinton, Bruce Yelk, Martini Madness, and venues like Paradise and Bob & Barbara’s where they hand you your coins when you walk in the door-maybe that has spoiled me, but that’s how it’s supposed to be done. Not “sorry I’m too busy counting money that I just got from the door to actually take two seconds to open my app and swipe to pay you, but thanks for giving up your entire day to make me money.” Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit.
As far as entering competitions for coinage. if you decide to enter a competition and give 10-14 weeks of your life and dedication to the cause, get it in writing that should you win the competition, you will receive the prize money the night of the win. But then again, that may mark you as “difficult to work with.” If you agree to put out the work for a 10-14 week period, the promoter should plan ahead and have that prize money the moment the flyers go to print. And that’s all there is to it.

One last thing on this subject of money-if you are working by a door pay, don’t be scared to count heads in the seats. I once co-hosted a competition and my co-host and I counted the door each night, since the promoter kept sending us low payouts via Venmo. Sometimes the numbers were literally half. When we brought it up, the promoter accused the door person of stealing and insisted that I fire the door person. It was the beginning of the end with my relationship with competitions here in Philly.

Bookings
-If you have spoken up for yourself about performance issues, about getting your pay for the last show, etc. and the promoter not only stops booking you, but also tells other people you are difficult to work with-then take it as a blessing and WALK AWAY. Trust me, your work will speak for itself, and will overshadow the shade from the promoter. When a promoter sees a good thing and hires you, and tells everyone on social media how excited they were to work with you and then how well the event went, and then shortly after tells everyone how hard it is to work with you-trust me, we know what’s what.
-If you are in a group message and a promoter tells you not to support a show because a performer is in the event that he/she does not like, go and support the fucking show anyway. Who cares what this asshole thinks? We are a big, gay group of men in dresses all trying to achieve the same goals. So if you fall for this shit-to show loyalty, or the promoter tells you he/she will not work with you anymore if you go, you are only missing out on a good time. Ask yourself why this shitface is telling you to avoid this person or show-is it because the promoter is scared of other people’s success? Of course! Because if another show succeeds it’s the end of that promoter’s ability to keep a monopoly of frightened performers scared to ask for their pay or think for themselves. Live your life, support other performers and shows, and don’t take threats from jitbags. There’s always other events and more professional people to work with.

-If a queen/host/promoter insists you book her/him because she booked you, well that’s obviously your choice as a host to book that person or not. Some queens send messages that it must be tit for tat, and make threats that they will not have you in their shows if you do not reciprocate. It is what it is, decide for yourself. But it’s still an asshole move for assholish people.

These were just some of the issues that were sent to me, many I could not even get into because just seeing some of the screenshots that were sent to me had my head spinning. Trust me, I get it-it’s a lot of work for both roles-for the performers and for the promoters. Everyone involved in any event is taking a risk in trying to make some magic. But always walk into and out of any kind of partnering with “clean hands”-meaning you uphold your role as either the promoter or the performer to the best of your ability, and you play fair. Deep down, we all know the difference between right and wrong- so don’t play dumb. Promoters, treat your performers how you would like to be treated yourselves, no one is above the laws of general compassion and understanding. Do you really want to be that person who has to dodge people at every venue you walk into? Do you want to be the person who creates eyerolls at the mention of your name? I would think that most people would not want to be that person, but I can also tell you a few people who do not mind being that person. And ultimately, sometimes SADLY, it is the promoter’s choice who to hire and who to work with-there’s a MILLION performers just in Philly alone with about 20-30 sprouting out daily. So, performers, if you are a no call/no show for a gig, if you are late to a gig, if you are unwilling or able to send your music tracks on time (ahem MARIA TOP CATT lol), you can be replaced. But if you play by the rules, and should you feel uncomfortable about any situation-speak up for yourself or suck it up. If you get ostracized from a promoter because you were treated unfairly and confronted the promoter, listen up-there’s always another venue or another promoter to work with. Most venue managers are more than happy to hear you out or your ideas on show concepts. Work for yourself, and promote your own ideas and concepts-show us all what you can do. Sometimes you really do not need a middle man (or woman) to take your ideas and turn them into money-making events for themselves. In other words, have some PRIDE. See what I did there, it’s all come full circle…Happy Pride, kids!

Love and lashes (and bookings lol),
Brittany Lynn

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All of the May Local Drag Tea w/Miss Brittany Lynn

Good morning kids!

Yassss for Spring time and multi-colored poop from Unicorn Fraps thanks to Starbucks, and their insidious ploy to kill the gays with sugars they would normally never DARE consume!

That’s a major marketing success when gays won’t eat a bagel but they will drink the equivalent of three large snickers bars-just to get that IG selfie with that sugary Unicorn spectacle…
So while half the Gayborhood dies from diabetes just before summertime, the rest of you gay guys and gals can work off those extra ounces from wagging your fingers and screaming “YASSSSSSSS!” at all of these GAY-MAY-ZING shows and stunts! Remember kids-Pride will be here before you know it, so let the eating disorders begin. If you’re gonna binge ya better purge!

So instead of drinking dyed gmo’s pretending to be Unicorn blood and pissing off baristas with your shitty, basic bitch order-toss all those dollars to these queens who keep you entertained all through May!

And speaking of Pride-just wait for next month’s tea-with the GAYEST Pride Month A-Happenings and interviews with my gay galpals Bruce Yelk (on his Distrk C Pride Extravaganza) and my sister Hennastacia Beach!

But for now kiddies-get into these events-like Miss Justin Timberlake sings, “It’s gonna be MAYYYY!”

EVERY MONDAY/Queens and Quizzo 
Girls you have not LIVED until you’ve tasted the fried chicken at this place! Their $5 drink menu gets you all warm and toasty, and their happy hour food menu (all under $10 with the best in Southern cuisine) fills even the biggest of big girls from 5-7pm. Then it’s QUIZZO time, featuring the girls from the monthly Drag Brunch-yours truly, Crystal Electra, and Navaya Shay-win $50 for the night, with a $500 grand prize coming in June!
7pm-9pm/Bourbon & Branch/705 N. 2nd St; (215) 238-0660

May 3/Nova Kane’s Side Effects 
Miss Nova Kane serves prescription based performances with her sisters Aloe Vera, Satine Harlow, and Onyx Ondyx. I need pills just thinking about it! Come and play with these queens and there’s NO COVER! (More money for pills…)
7pm/Tabu-200 S. 12th St.

May 6/LiCK
LiCK serves their annual nerdlesque show! From Star Wars to RHPS… all your nerdy and dirty little fantasies brought to life! Get to Tabu early for the best seats as this night fills up early!
Tabu/200 S. 12th St.

May 7/The Golden Gurlz Live at Paradise
The Golden Oldies are back at Paradise in Asbury with two, new HIGH-larious episodes! No one is safe as the “Henny Penny” and the “It’s a Miserable Life”episodes get a parody makeover by Pissi Myles, Bella Cane, Connor Michalchuk, Anne Allen, and everyone’s fave Bea Arthur-meeeee! Lots of audience participation and surprises all night long!
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-golden-gurlz-live-at-the-paradise-tickets-33624516835
Paradise-101 Asbury Ave, Asbury Park, NJ/Check your Blanche life right here for more info

Cards Against Humanity w/Pissi Myles (May 9th, 23rd, 30th) and Bev! (May 16th)
Tuesdays at Tabu will show you just how deranged and demented the gayborhood minds can be when Pissi Myles and Bev host a month of Cards Against Humanity. Performances and cards flying from 9pm till your humanity is lost.
9 pm/Tabu/200 S. 12th St.

May 10/Pigs In A Blanket 
Pissi Myles returns to Tabu for her monthly show of Pigs In A Blanket for a special weekday edition-take it from me kids-this SHOW IS FRIGGIN’ FUNNY AS F*UCK! Tons of audience participation and comedy parodies that’ll show you why this bitch tours all through the tri-state area! And there’s no cover which means you can shove more dollars down her blouse or get more tots here at Tabu-either one is win win.
9 pm/Tabu/200 S. 12th St

May 12/Golden Gurlz Live for Stonewall Sports 
Catch the Golden Gurls Live at Tabu for a special night benefitting Stonewall Sports Philly! Two episodes plus Golden Gurlz trivia for prizes-hot boys, hot girls, and old ladies with hot flashes-it’s gonna be GAYYYYY! Seating is limited to get your tickets NOW QWEEN!
1030pm/Tabu-200 S. 12th St.

May 19/Porcelain’s DOOM 
Philly’s queen of goth and gore brings all the cool kids to the yard for her monthly show-this night gets bigger and bigger every month with Philly’s Phaves lining up as her cast-bring your beautiful selves in early because this night is truly balls to the wall with industrial hotness.
9 pm/Tabu/200 S. 12th St.

May 19/Drag Me to Landmark 
Astala Vista gets all the Joisey girls fist pumping at her monthly show at Landmark with Maddelyn Hatter, Maria Top Cat, Pissi Myles, Ritzy Bitz, and Sherry Pie.
Tickets available at www.DragMeToLandmark.com until they sell out-which they normally do-so grab em now!
9pm/Landmark/1 Mullica Hill Rd Glassboro, NJ

May 21/Drag Sale For Attic Youth
Mistor Fahrenheit holds his annual drag sale to raise money for Attic Youth. This sale always has the best in costuming, shoes, and jewelry for everyone that has that inner drag queen just waiting to bust out. New queen on the scene or an early shopper for Beauty Ball-this is your place to be for one-stop drag shopping featuring stuff from all your favorite local performers! (Anything from Satine Harlow has been sanitized for your health and safety…)
1pm/Tabu-200 S. 12th St.

May 21/Divas at 7pm at A’s Place
Drag Mafia invades A’s Place Restaurant & Lounge in Manyunk w/Navaya Shay, Dusty Relix, Royal Rehrig, Maria Top Catt, and Thom Sirkot-serving you all of your favorite divas and celebrity male impersonations-live singing, comedy, dinner, and drinks-what more do ya want? A new venue and new stomping ground for “da family” for your Sunday Funday! Hosted by yours truly so you know what it’s gonna be? It’s gonna be GAYYYYYYYYYY!
7pm/A’s Place/3720 Main St., Manayunk

May 25/Guac Off 2017 for MANNA (Metropolitan Area Neighborhood Nutrition Alliance) 
Unlimited guac from all of the area’s best restaurants and food trucks? Unlimited chips with that guac? And drinks served by the hotties of Morgan’s Pier? HELLZ YEAH! Join MANNA and their team of supporters for this annual guac competition with local celebrity judges-I can’t wait to host this one-Imma need something in a five way stretch please…This event will sell out so hurry up and be ready to munch!
5pm/Morgan’s Pier/221 N Christopher Columbus Blvd

May 27/Bev’s Bitchfest
Bev goes all “Love, American Style” for her Memorial Day show with special guests NYC’s Marti Gould Cummings, Bingo Diva Anita Manhattan, and everyone favorite rice bowl Zsa Zsa St. James. Come support this lady before she starts working the streets to feed her wig addiction!
9pm/Tabu/200 S. 12th St

May 28/Drag Brunch at Bourbon and Branch
If you think the menu for Quizzo was gay, wait till you try this Southern breakfast cuisine for brunch! Shows and stunts by my Drag Mafia fam-my kid Navaya Shay, the Senator Crystal Electra, and my recently adopted chawld Omyra Lynn. This is seriously the most fun brunch in town and we pack the kids in every month-tables sell out quickly, so hurry it up Mary! Doors open 11:30am and shows start at noon-but if anything, you gotta meet Dj Jake P.I.I.M.B. Come and ask me what that stands for, and then see how pretty he is in person 🙂
www.Bourbonandbranchphilly.com
11 am/Bourbon & Branch/705 N. 2nd St

This month’s tea spotlight is all about 2 Queers and a Bitch-coming to Tabu THIS SUNDAY, April 30, for two shows at 6pm and 8pm. This star-studded show blows through Philly for one night only, with funny lady Robbyne Kaamil, who I met while we both worked at the infamous ProBar at Resorts Casino in Atlantic City, the hilarious Ike Avelli, and my drag sister-Atlantic City’s own Lady Labelle. This show is all sketch comedy, music, and audience participation-with surprises from Naked Sword (Porn) and WeedLips!!! (Who are they-well you have to come to the show and find out!) I had a really gay chat with Robbyne and Ike, for a little tea for the kids…

How did the two queers collide with the bitch? Give us some background on each of you…. Ike: I’ve always wanted to perform since I first seen The Carol Burnett Show in the 70’s. I didn’t get the chance to pursue my dream till I was 44. I started out performing at open mics in 2010 around the country and from there I began writing producing and starring in my own shows, which are Variety Based. 
Robbyne: I am the official advice diva for Playgirl and also have a monthly column in DNA Magazine, Australia’s top gay publication. I have been making people laugh since I got out of diapers. Or perhaps I was still in them. 
I have known Ike for years and always wanted to work with him. When I created 2 Queers and a Bitch he was the first one I called to work with me on this.


Tell us a little about the show’s concept….Robbyne: When we connected, we knew we wanted to do something different. We decided we wanted to do a show that when people walk away, they tell their friends and want to see it again. So we combine Comedy/Music/Sketch and Videos in our shows and the most important thing is Audience Participation. 


At the end of the night, what message are you hoping people will get from your performances? 
Robbyne: We hope that we lift the spirits of everyone who attends our shows. My grandmother used to say that sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. In this current climate of economic uncertainty, racial disparity and social divide many tears have been shed. If we can help eliminate some of that pain if only for one hour it may help get someone through the day and give them the strength to hang the fuck on.

Yesssss gawd-this show is NOT to be missed! For advanced tickets go right here and check out their Facebook page right here and after you do all of that, head, um, straight to this fabulous Huffington Post article right here. 

And once again…..2 Queers and a Bitch-6pm & 8pm, Sunday April 30th/Tabu/200 South 12th St./Tabu/200 S. 12th St

Be sure to check out these 2 Queers and a Bitch, as well as all of these other queers and bitches for their GAY-MAY-ZING events! Have a drag event you wanna see on “All the Drag Tea?” Hit me up Qween! I print ‘em if I get ‘em! Message me on my facebook page “The Vaginally Challenged Brittany Lynn” or at thedragmafia@gmail.com!

That’s all the tea for now kids-keep on sippin’!
Love and lashes,
Brittany Lynn
Phillydragmafia.com

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All of the April Local Drag Tea w/Ms. Brittany Lynn

Hey Qweens!

OH MAH GAWD it’s April already! As we experience all four seasons every day of the week now, the Qweens and Kings of the city are gearing up for Pride, the circuit Qweens are cutting carbs, and the other gays have six more months for anything with pumpkin spice, but are patiently waiting. 

As far as drag events go, April is more stuffed than the dresses Alexander John Ortiz photoshops each morning. So take a gander boys and girls, and see all of the April offerings…

*Cover photo courtesy of Sarah Michelle Gellar* 

Saturday, April 1/Philadelphia Dyke March presents Carnival Flea Market The ladies are getting together and selling their wares and PDM merch! Carnival snacks and food, a fortune teller, a kissing booth, clowns, face painters, and more! (Cats, flanels, and tool belts jokes inserted here…) 12pm-4pm, William Way Center, 1315 Spruce Street 

Saturday, April 1/Woods Party  DJ Brando Calrissian spins the night away as Philly welcomes the Woods Campground. Performances by the Miss Woods title holders and faves such as Dusty Relix, Royal, and Maxine Chambers! All the best of the Woods Campground without needing sunscreen on your dirty parts-but expects lots of bears, broads,and booze! 8 pm, Tabu, 200 S. 12th St.

Sunday, April 2/Statements, Stars, and Legends Showcase  Andrea Lamour hosts a night of showgirls with Lisa Lisa (of Bob & Barbara’s fame), “the Senator” Crystal Electra, cat enthusiast Lady Geisha, and one of the best Tina Turner impersonators (and Andrea’s drag mother) that you will see on this coast! And the show is early enough you can still make it home in time for your stories sis… 5 pm, Adreinne Theater 2030 Sansom St 

Monday, April 3rd (and every Monday)/Drags to Riches Leo Gonzalez heads the weekly gameshow that’s a mix of Price is Right and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire-hosted by La Tonga! Win some coins and see lots of queens crafting products off the set lol…9 pm, Tabu 200 S. 12th St 

Monday, April 3rd (and every Monday following)/Queens & Quizzo  The ladies that bring you the monthly, sold out drag brunch have now taken over Mondays at Bourbon and Branch! Come and play some quizzo with a $50 weekly prize leading to a $500 grand prize! Performances and hipsters hotties from all over No Libs and guaranteed to chase away the Monday blues-and make life a little more…gay… Bourbonandbranchphilly.com 7 pm, Bourbon & Branch 705 N 2nd St.

Wednesday, April 5/Doll-sters & Tiaras  The gayborhood’s first drag, child star pageant! Featuring Navaya Shay, Zsa Zsa St. James, David Isis Lopez III, Omyra Lynn, Anthony Michael, Porcelain, and Johnny Patches! With pageant categories that include: Diaper Presentation, Childhood Talent, and Nap Time Couture-YOU DO NOT WANNA MISS THIS! Hosted by Philly’s Phavorite Stage Mom The Vaginally Challenged Brittany Lynn of course! The audience will receive ballots to vote! Who will become the gayborhood’s first child star pageant qweeeeeen? $5 cover goes to the Childhood Home for Gifted Youngsters (The contestants-As it always should….) Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Thursday, April 6/Lisa Lisa’s Miami Party  The girls of Bob & Barbara’s are giving up their coins for a night to send Lisa to Miami and figure out where her accent really comes from-come and play with all the girls and bi-curious audience members! 11 pm, Bob & Barbara’s 1509 South St.

Saturday, April 8th & Sunday, April 9th/Nostalgia Fest Drag Mafia hosts this two day, 80’s and 90’s dream festival! OH MAH GAWD! 80’s and 90’s celebs! Food trucks! Free wine and beer sampling for hours! Comic artists! Wrestling stars! And 150 vendors selling vintage toys, games, and more! WHAT ELSE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT? This will be the event of all events! Live the 80’s and 90’s ultimate fantasy with performances by Navaya Shay as Britney Spears, Jeffy Nemeth (Dusty Relix) as Cyndi Lauper, Royal Rehrig as George Michael, Thom Sirkot as Elton John, and The Vaginally Challenged Brittany Lynn as Boy George & Culture Club and other surprise celebrities! Use our Drag Mafia code…….DRAG for $5.00 General Admission……….DRAGVIP for $15.00 VIP Admission. Note: the Discount Code needs to be entered in CAPS to work. And check your Bud Bundy life right here for all of the Nostalgia Fest tea you could ever want! Yassss Qween! 

Saturday, April 8/Pigs in a Blanket Golden Gurlz Live drag star Pissi Myles and Sherrie Pie serve the STUPIDEST show that will make you pee your pants-and it’s all served on a bun! Games and audience participation and possibly a performance here and there so grab a seat early9 pm, no cover. Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Wednesday, April 12/The Shady Bunch Hosts Aloe Vera and Turnpyke go head to head with their boys and girls-and trust me the girls are much bigger...9 pm, Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Friday,April 14/Ariel’s Bday Bash The fishy hosts celebrates her birthday and instagram following with her gayest galpals. Come for the show, and stay and watch us all (mostly Ariel’s mom Susan Neel) try and get Chasity to pack her drag at the end of the night after a few cocktails lol 9 pm, Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Friday, April 14/Pretty Girl/Pi/Sharon Needles Gather round kids and watch two of Philly’s own open for the Drag Race fave in No Libs! Show them how we do ladies! Get those tickets. 1250 N. Front St.

Friday, April 14/Miss Paradise Victoria Cruz  Yours truly joins Miss Paradise 2017 Victoria Cruz and DRAG LEGEND HARMONICA SUNBEAM for Victoria’s weekly drag extravaganza! Wall to wall comedy legends-say whaaaaaat? BRING A DIAPER AND A MOP-you’re gonna need it! Plus I get to DISH with my gay galpal Miss Michael Cook-can’t wait! 10 pm, Paradise, 101 Asbury Ave, Asbury Park, NJ, 07712 

Saturday, April 15/Baked Alaska  From the mouth of the hostess Miss Aurora Whorealis: “Do you need somewhere to spend all your MUNNY from your tax returns? It won’t be on a cover for our show! That means more money for #BBB#Booze #Bitties and #Bluntz! BAKED ALASKA is back on tax day, the best #420 pregame!” Featuring the blazingly talented: AURORA WHOREALIS and LILI ST. QUEER and THEIR EXTRA SPECIAL guest, the Dancing Diva, DALYLA MIZANI! In other words: SMOKE WEED, PAUSE, and REPEAT…9 pm, Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Friday, April 21/Porcelain’s DOOM Porcelain is back for her new, monthly show at Tabu! Bringing in the best of the obscure and the darkest talents of Philly, this gal has come back to Philly in a HUGE way-so get to Tabu early for a good seat as this show gets PACKED! NO COVER-the dark arts support this gal and sends her monthly sacrificial coinage… 10 pm, Tabu 200 S. 12th St.

Saturday, April 29/Mr. Philly Drag King 2017 My brother from another mother Rough Rydeher and Jimmy Two Fingas host this year’s Mr. Philly Drag King Competition! This is an amateur competition calling kings from Philly, NJ and Delaware for the 22nd year and is a fundriaser for The Philly Dyke March!

The winner will receive:
-Cash Prize
-Sponsored Gifts, trophies, crown and more.
-Performance on Philly Dyke March Stage
-Seat on the Main Float for Philly Gay Pride in June
-Performance at Festival Pier for Philly Gay Pride
-Performance on Outfest Main Stage
-Seat on Philly Dyke March Board for PDK 2018

May the best man win! William Way LGBT Community Center 1315 Spruce Street; (215) 732-2220

And lastly some events and shout-outs for the Qween’s Choice. They might not have drag queens themselves, but there’s lots of queen’s support:

Sunday, April 9/What We Do Is Secret Carl Michaels and Grotzy Versace play 80’s and 90’s Manchester and American Club Classics to get the queens moving and shaking-there’s gonna be more queens than you can shake a Grace Jones headpiece at-be there! 10 pm, Stir Lounge 1705 Chancellor St.

Saturday, April 22/I’m From Driftwood 4th Annual Spring Brunch  The 2017 Host Committee invites you to celebrate spring by mixing and mingling with your LGBT neighbors at the 4th Annual I’m From Driftwood Spring Brunch. Immerse yourself in great company and live jazz while enjoying a brunch buffet and drinks in the beautiful outdoor courtyard of the John C. Anderson Apartments. Event proceeds support I’m From Driftwood: The LGBT Story Archive. The stories on I’m From Driftwood send a simple yet powerful message to LGBT people everywhere: You Are Not Alone. Tickets and info at www.imfromdriftwood.com/brunch *Limited advance tickets available online while supplies last12:30pm at the Jon C. Anderson Apartments  251 S. 13th St.; (267) 639-6820

Saturday, April 22/Brain Crumbs Premiere Get ready, kweens and kings, Tavern on Camac fave and local film maker Jon Ristaino premieres his second documentary Brain Crumbs at a private screening at 6:30pm at The Penn Cinema Riverfront.  “After a car accident nearly took a young woman’s life, leaving her with a traumatic brain injury. She must relearn every basic function of life. Her dream to become a chef fuels her fight to reclaim her life. Using food and cooking therapy combined with a unique harness system,developed to help her walk, she pushes the boundaries of conventional “therapy.”

With a special appearance by the former Chef of The Tavern (Tavern on Camac’s downstairs restaurant), this 5 year documentary takes a step into the life of a TBI survivor and exposes the challenges and triumphs of life.” It’s a must see-and you gotta support my bestie and one of Philly’s Phavorite bartenders. GET YOUR TICKETS NOW QWEEN! 630 pm, The Penn Cinema Riverfront. 401 S Madison St, Wilmington, Delaware

MAJOR CONDRAGULATIONS to Gabrielle Charles Gibson and Jaden Remy for making his and her-story on “Say Yes to the Dress!”. With appearances by their dearest friends all a tongue-popping (Miss Jose Corrigan I’m talkin’ bout you chawld…) the couple make their tv debut and wake the whole country up-major kudos to the wedding bride and groom! Check out a post from Gabrielle “Cha Chi Divine ” herself right here. 
As someone who has watched Gabrielle grow up from her first days at Bounce Nightclub, it’s an amazing feeling to see her dreams come true-much love to you girl, you deserve the best xoxo

OH MAH GAWD! April has a lot going on-and lot of it is at Tabu…coincidence? Who can say in these crazy time we live in…but if you wanna get your shows and stunts posted, just send me a message Qween! I’m always posting for new events on my fb pages, or write me:thedragmafia@gmail.com

That’s all for now-I’ve been typing for so long my hands look like Omyra Lynn fighting for crab legs at the Ruby Buffet-so come out and support these whores-like they say, “it takes a lot of money to look this cheap…”

Love and lashes y’all,
Brittany Lynn