Let’s spill about that not so elusive creative artistry life for a moment, shall we? (to those who of you out there in Philly who are just straight up living it…werk).
Oh, how it can take you to the highest of all highs when you’re getting the fucking job done one moment, and then make you feel like Amanda Bynes, Linsday Lohan, Paris Hilton’s DJ career and “Gimme More” Britney rolled into one Helen Hunt worthy tornado of creative destruction the next….and it’s the fucking worst thing that could ever happen…to your life.
Ask anyone who’s owning their creative life who’s been through “the struggle’ (if you’re a creative artist out there right now who’s too proud to admit a “slump,” admitting it the first step (and you’re also not perfect either so you can cut that fucking shit out, too) and it feels their world is quite simply….done.
But don’t you dare throw in the artistic towel just yet, because if there’s one thing that creative artistry lets us know is that it loves when we come back for more abuse. So, whether your an artful businessman finding many useful ways to use #BBHMM, a stay-at-home mom who dazzled the family after she added her own special “Mom Seasonings” to that recipe she snatched up from offerup.com, a teacher, an engineer, singer, writer, screenwriter, songwriter, drag queen, actor, actress, diva, rapper, or any other career where you have to legit use your creative well being, you are well in the game. And oh, yes, how there will be days where it’s just fucking amazing to be the creative you and then there will be those days where it just… fucking…isn’t.
For those of you haven’t gone through “it” yet, it’s coming (see–not perfect), for those of you who thrived through it, let’s go, and for those who are just starting to feel the Courtney Love “Doll Parts” creative angst, they still really do want you, you just have to get through this fucking annoying creative slump first, so here are five ways you can get over yourself like Eden’s Crush right now because you have a weirdly wonderful creative life to live and you most certainly motherfucking can.
Hey, there’s just no sugar coating it when it comes to this…stuff.
1. Recognize it, you stupid hoe… Not to go all Gwen from the get go, but perhaps the fucking worst part about being trapped on the creative struggle bus is not actually recognizing that you’re all up in it Bon Qui Qui style. Those beats just don’t match, that power point just isn’t on point, those designs just aren’t graphic enough and them words just ain’t flowin’ they like used to. Then for days, weeks (hopefully not years because that’s some electroshock therapy shit that we’re not even going to get into here), you’re trying to figure out just what the fuck the issue is. But no need to go out and poke a bitch with your broken umbrella, it’s just a creative slump taking over...your life. However, now that we’ve recognized it, you may now proceed (yes, indeed) to number two.
2. And then, own it, bitch, because you’re certainly not the only one who’s been through “the struggle” Another big ol’ shitty part of that Ms. Jackson-if-you’re-nasty slump is that it can make you feel more left alone than Ciara on the album charts. You feel like your child has abandoned you and how dare “your baby’ (because, like, it is) deceive you, especially when you thought things we’re all peachy fucking keen together?
Well, unfortunately, Mean Girls style rainbows and smiles filled days are never guaranteed in a thriving creative life, mostly because the brain controls every part of it and sometimes Ms. Brain acts like Ms. Diva and just wants to take a little rest every once in a while…and it’s all fucking good. Do you think creative moguls like the dearly departed Steve Jobs and the legendary Ms. O didn’t have slumps where they just didn’t fucking want to anymore? They most certainly did and in fact, it in was times of said slumps that brought them to be the icons they were and always will be until the very end of creative time. So, now that you’ve owned and recognized “it” keep that head up like 2pac because the best is yet to come, just ask Ms. Winfrey as she’s rolling around in her Scrooge McDuck style money pit as we speak.
3.Call yourself Rupaul, because you betta…get back to those creative roots. Rooted inside the foundation in any creative field lies plenty of delicately (or..in my case..the messier the better at times..whatever tickles your creative fancy) planted seeds that eventually grew into shady redwood forest trees on the the creative path through it all.
However, since those creative folks work so hard at their craft at all hours of the day and night, there’s sometimes,err, always, a tendency to dive in deeper than the deepest deep house groove. That’s like really fucking deep, and in turn, those beloved roots feel like escape from us during our hour of creative need and we forget exactly what we came here for. Right, RiRi?
But perhaps another silver lined part of your creative slump is that it’s now officially time own your slay as Ms. RuPaul and get back to those roots, not just a reminder of those seeds you worked hard to plant, but as a reminder as to why you’re here in the first place. If you’re a singer on the scene whose struggling to smash that performance, go back to that concert where you grabbed every soul in the venue. If you’re a drag queen who feels like they’re wig isn’t on as fierce as it should be, check your purse first back to the performance where you snatched all the damn wigs in the motherfucking place. And if you’re a DJ whose struggling to catch that groove, sound check it back to sets where you had the crowd building those beats until the Molly wore off. It’s all still there.
A little Mary J. reminiscin’ certainly goes a long way, so don’t you ever think that the foundation you built up doesn’t exist when you’re lost inside the slump, because the truth is, its always there and will never leave your delicately fragile creative side that’s sometimes like a lion, sometimes like a lamb…like mother fucking March…everyday. However, as long as we’ve got those roots, it’s the safest place to explore while you’re going through your Amanda Bynes right now. Now, dance and get back to those roots because they make you (yes, you) what you are…a god damn creative superstar.
4.Pass it to the creative left, now… Anyone who’s, like, anyone in this sometimes (okay..all the time) fucking bat shit crazy world has that one vice that they go to when they just need to make it through it all. Whether you lie to your friends about how many hours of Netflix and/or Hulu you really binge watch, head to the bars after your 9-5 creative hustle and live that thot happy hour life, or crank up that teacher’s life a lil’ bit by sneaking a little wine into your coffee cup, hey, whatever helps get you through the second, that moment, handling that bratty kid who your just trying to find creative ways to teach the fucking alphabet to and he or she just won’t stop….there’s absolutely no god damn judgment here…trust me.
Okay, on a personal life, um, twist, and I’m not condoning anything here in anyway…ahh, fuck it, we’re in a crisis here, right? Your creative life is ending. Truly, there’s nothing fucking better than slipping on a pair of headphones, diving into those grooves and hanging out with two good friends–Dutch Master and Mary Jane. When that creative coherent to Iggy Azaeala’s career path kicks in (eek!), there’s nothing better than a little keepin’ it to myself action with MJ (sorry, Bey) and within an instant (aka..three puffs) that Mizz Grande style focus takes over and that creative light (literally) finds its way back into your universe. Like the fucking Elle Woods created “Bend and Snap’ it works every god damn time.
Certainly that chronic life is not for everybody, so to each his own and never any shade to how you get yours, so here’s something we could all chillax to together. The next moment you find yourself in no time Jessi Spano mode, hop on Spotify, dig through them crates, that old school CD Logic case or wherever you keep your most precious music gems (just put down those fucking deadly caffeine pills, please!), pick out your top five favorite albums, puff, puff or straight up glug, glug that special vice, press play on those beats and just..enjoy.
Here’s a few from the personal vault, and there’s sure to be one or two of these records on the lists of other creative kids out there, because at the end of the day, we’re all in this together. Now, chill the fuck out, god damn it, and let the music and your personally wicked ways do their almighty jobs…to bring the creative you back to you…and that means you, Slater.
5.Realize that it just might be the best thing that could ever happen..in your creative life. Okay, so if you’re just in the beginning stages of the “struggle,” this theory may not seem fathomable, but the deeper your creative despair is, in a bizarre fucking turn (because…this life) it just might be the best thing that could’ve ever happened to you. While indeed “it” (like Stephen fucking King) makes you feel more confused as to what Lindsay Lohan actually does these days, but if you just pick apart those pieces and slowly rebuild to fit them all (and there really is sooo god damn many if you’re really in it) for what it truly is–just your stupid fucking brain telling you to take a creative seat, bitch. And you should absolutely listen to it…right now.
Any creative person deep in the game is always very protective of their craft, and when a slump strikes, the drama queen enters and we wish we were Claire and Leo in Romeo & Juliet and will take a bitch doooown if they even attempt to come after our creative child in any way. The fucking worst. But truly, all you have to do is dive a bit deeper into the truth within it all–that’s your creative style is your very own and no one can take it away from you, not even “Mariah’s Theme,” and that’s saying a fuck of a whole lot.
Now, take some time to get over your shit, but not too much, because you need to get that head back in the creative game, put in more god damn motherfucking work than RiRi….and then shut the fuck up and just…drive.
Check your creative lifestyle right here so much god damn more….