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All of the May Local Drag Tea w/Miss Brittany Lynn

Good morning kids!

Yassss for Spring time and multi-colored poop from Unicorn Fraps thanks to Starbucks, and their insidious ploy to kill the gays with sugars they would normally never DARE consume!

That’s a major marketing success when gays won’t eat a bagel but they will drink the equivalent of three large snickers bars-just to get that IG selfie with that sugary Unicorn spectacle…
So while half the Gayborhood dies from diabetes just before summertime, the rest of you gay guys and gals can work off those extra ounces from wagging your fingers and screaming “YASSSSSSSS!” at all of these GAY-MAY-ZING shows and stunts! Remember kids-Pride will be here before you know it, so let the eating disorders begin. If you’re gonna binge ya better purge!

So instead of drinking dyed gmo’s pretending to be Unicorn blood and pissing off baristas with your shitty, basic bitch order-toss all those dollars to these queens who keep you entertained all through May!

And speaking of Pride-just wait for next month’s tea-with the GAYEST Pride Month A-Happenings and interviews with my gay galpals Bruce Yelk (on his Distrk C Pride Extravaganza) and my sister Hennastacia Beach!

But for now kiddies-get into these events-like Miss Justin Timberlake sings, “It’s gonna be MAYYYY!”

EVERY MONDAY/Queens and Quizzo 
Girls you have not LIVED until you’ve tasted the fried chicken at this place! Their $5 drink menu gets you all warm and toasty, and their happy hour food menu (all under $10 with the best in Southern cuisine) fills even the biggest of big girls from 5-7pm. Then it’s QUIZZO time, featuring the girls from the monthly Drag Brunch-yours truly, Crystal Electra, and Navaya Shay-win $50 for the night, with a $500 grand prize coming in June!
7pm-9pm/Bourbon & Branch/705 N. 2nd St; (215) 238-0660

May 3/Nova Kane’s Side Effects 
Miss Nova Kane serves prescription based performances with her sisters Aloe Vera, Satine Harlow, and Onyx Ondyx. I need pills just thinking about it! Come and play with these queens and there’s NO COVER! (More money for pills…)
7pm/Tabu-200 S. 12th St.

May 6/LiCK
LiCK serves their annual nerdlesque show! From Star Wars to RHPS… all your nerdy and dirty little fantasies brought to life! Get to Tabu early for the best seats as this night fills up early!
Tabu/200 S. 12th St.

May 7/The Golden Gurlz Live at Paradise
The Golden Oldies are back at Paradise in Asbury with two, new HIGH-larious episodes! No one is safe as the “Henny Penny” and the “It’s a Miserable Life”episodes get a parody makeover by Pissi Myles, Bella Cane, Connor Michalchuk, Anne Allen, and everyone’s fave Bea Arthur-meeeee! Lots of audience participation and surprises all night long!
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-golden-gurlz-live-at-the-paradise-tickets-33624516835
Paradise-101 Asbury Ave, Asbury Park, NJ/Check your Blanche life right here for more info

Cards Against Humanity w/Pissi Myles (May 9th, 23rd, 30th) and Bev! (May 16th)
Tuesdays at Tabu will show you just how deranged and demented the gayborhood minds can be when Pissi Myles and Bev host a month of Cards Against Humanity. Performances and cards flying from 9pm till your humanity is lost.
9 pm/Tabu/200 S. 12th St.

May 10/Pigs In A Blanket 
Pissi Myles returns to Tabu for her monthly show of Pigs In A Blanket for a special weekday edition-take it from me kids-this SHOW IS FRIGGIN’ FUNNY AS F*UCK! Tons of audience participation and comedy parodies that’ll show you why this bitch tours all through the tri-state area! And there’s no cover which means you can shove more dollars down her blouse or get more tots here at Tabu-either one is win win.
9 pm/Tabu/200 S. 12th St

May 12/Golden Gurlz Live for Stonewall Sports 
Catch the Golden Gurls Live at Tabu for a special night benefitting Stonewall Sports Philly! Two episodes plus Golden Gurlz trivia for prizes-hot boys, hot girls, and old ladies with hot flashes-it’s gonna be GAYYYYY! Seating is limited to get your tickets NOW QWEEN!
1030pm/Tabu-200 S. 12th St.

May 19/Porcelain’s DOOM 
Philly’s queen of goth and gore brings all the cool kids to the yard for her monthly show-this night gets bigger and bigger every month with Philly’s Phaves lining up as her cast-bring your beautiful selves in early because this night is truly balls to the wall with industrial hotness.
9 pm/Tabu/200 S. 12th St.

May 19/Drag Me to Landmark 
Astala Vista gets all the Joisey girls fist pumping at her monthly show at Landmark with Maddelyn Hatter, Maria Top Cat, Pissi Myles, Ritzy Bitz, and Sherry Pie.
Tickets available at www.DragMeToLandmark.com until they sell out-which they normally do-so grab em now!
9pm/Landmark/1 Mullica Hill Rd Glassboro, NJ

May 21/Drag Sale For Attic Youth
Mistor Fahrenheit holds his annual drag sale to raise money for Attic Youth. This sale always has the best in costuming, shoes, and jewelry for everyone that has that inner drag queen just waiting to bust out. New queen on the scene or an early shopper for Beauty Ball-this is your place to be for one-stop drag shopping featuring stuff from all your favorite local performers! (Anything from Satine Harlow has been sanitized for your health and safety…)
1pm/Tabu-200 S. 12th St.

May 21/Divas at 7pm at A’s Place
Drag Mafia invades A’s Place Restaurant & Lounge in Manyunk w/Navaya Shay, Dusty Relix, Royal Rehrig, Maria Top Catt, and Thom Sirkot-serving you all of your favorite divas and celebrity male impersonations-live singing, comedy, dinner, and drinks-what more do ya want? A new venue and new stomping ground for “da family” for your Sunday Funday! Hosted by yours truly so you know what it’s gonna be? It’s gonna be GAYYYYYYYYYY!
7pm/A’s Place/3720 Main St., Manayunk

May 25/Guac Off 2017 for MANNA (Metropolitan Area Neighborhood Nutrition Alliance) 
Unlimited guac from all of the area’s best restaurants and food trucks? Unlimited chips with that guac? And drinks served by the hotties of Morgan’s Pier? HELLZ YEAH! Join MANNA and their team of supporters for this annual guac competition with local celebrity judges-I can’t wait to host this one-Imma need something in a five way stretch please…This event will sell out so hurry up and be ready to munch!
5pm/Morgan’s Pier/221 N Christopher Columbus Blvd

May 27/Bev’s Bitchfest
Bev goes all “Love, American Style” for her Memorial Day show with special guests NYC’s Marti Gould Cummings, Bingo Diva Anita Manhattan, and everyone favorite rice bowl Zsa Zsa St. James. Come support this lady before she starts working the streets to feed her wig addiction!
9pm/Tabu/200 S. 12th St

May 28/Drag Brunch at Bourbon and Branch
If you think the menu for Quizzo was gay, wait till you try this Southern breakfast cuisine for brunch! Shows and stunts by my Drag Mafia fam-my kid Navaya Shay, the Senator Crystal Electra, and my recently adopted chawld Omyra Lynn. This is seriously the most fun brunch in town and we pack the kids in every month-tables sell out quickly, so hurry it up Mary! Doors open 11:30am and shows start at noon-but if anything, you gotta meet Dj Jake P.I.I.M.B. Come and ask me what that stands for, and then see how pretty he is in person 🙂
www.Bourbonandbranchphilly.com
11 am/Bourbon & Branch/705 N. 2nd St

This month’s tea spotlight is all about 2 Queers and a Bitch-coming to Tabu THIS SUNDAY, April 30, for two shows at 6pm and 8pm. This star-studded show blows through Philly for one night only, with funny lady Robbyne Kaamil, who I met while we both worked at the infamous ProBar at Resorts Casino in Atlantic City, the hilarious Ike Avelli, and my drag sister-Atlantic City’s own Lady Labelle. This show is all sketch comedy, music, and audience participation-with surprises from Naked Sword (Porn) and WeedLips!!! (Who are they-well you have to come to the show and find out!) I had a really gay chat with Robbyne and Ike, for a little tea for the kids…

How did the two queers collide with the bitch? Give us some background on each of you…. Ike: I’ve always wanted to perform since I first seen The Carol Burnett Show in the 70’s. I didn’t get the chance to pursue my dream till I was 44. I started out performing at open mics in 2010 around the country and from there I began writing producing and starring in my own shows, which are Variety Based. 
Robbyne: I am the official advice diva for Playgirl and also have a monthly column in DNA Magazine, Australia’s top gay publication. I have been making people laugh since I got out of diapers. Or perhaps I was still in them. 
I have known Ike for years and always wanted to work with him. When I created 2 Queers and a Bitch he was the first one I called to work with me on this.


Tell us a little about the show’s concept….Robbyne: When we connected, we knew we wanted to do something different. We decided we wanted to do a show that when people walk away, they tell their friends and want to see it again. So we combine Comedy/Music/Sketch and Videos in our shows and the most important thing is Audience Participation. 


At the end of the night, what message are you hoping people will get from your performances? 
Robbyne: We hope that we lift the spirits of everyone who attends our shows. My grandmother used to say that sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. In this current climate of economic uncertainty, racial disparity and social divide many tears have been shed. If we can help eliminate some of that pain if only for one hour it may help get someone through the day and give them the strength to hang the fuck on.

Yesssss gawd-this show is NOT to be missed! For advanced tickets go right here and check out their Facebook page right here and after you do all of that, head, um, straight to this fabulous Huffington Post article right here. 

And once again…..2 Queers and a Bitch-6pm & 8pm, Sunday April 30th/Tabu/200 South 12th St./Tabu/200 S. 12th St

Be sure to check out these 2 Queers and a Bitch, as well as all of these other queers and bitches for their GAY-MAY-ZING events! Have a drag event you wanna see on “All the Drag Tea?” Hit me up Qween! I print ‘em if I get ‘em! Message me on my facebook page “The Vaginally Challenged Brittany Lynn” or at thedragmafia@gmail.com!

That’s all the tea for now kids-keep on sippin’!
Love and lashes,
Brittany Lynn
Phillydragmafia.com

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ALL the Winter/Almost Spring Local Drag Tea w/Ms. Brittany Lynn

Hey, Qween!

It’s been awhile since we tawked cuz mother has been up to her breast plate in gigs, gigs, gigs while serving the great city of Philadelphia! What can I say, even after two decades, they keep this old girl werking all over the tri-state area, and chawld we gots lots to catch up!

First off-thanks to my gals of the Miss Fancy Brigade for a truly amazing job marching in the Mummers New Year’s Day parade! With our Storybook theme, we posed for pics and marched all over Broad Street, making thousands of kids Disney fantasy come to life. If you were too hungover to catch us during the parade’s tv broadcast, check out the Miss Fancy Brigade page on Facebook (right here) for lots of pics and videos from the whole day.

Miss Iris Spectre took the title of this year’s Miss Fancy 2017 dressed as Belle from Beauty and the Beast (representing Boxers Philly), and check out below for all the deets on her crowning ceremony! Many, many thanks to the Mummers LGBT Liaison Committee for our fifth and most fabulous year to date! And even more thanks to the Landi Comics Brigade for taking us in and allowing us to march for our first time as a comics brigade!

Next, Chawld-I lived the ONLY 80’s fantasy that a drag queen can live. How could I compete with last year’s opening salot for Debbie Gibson? Well, my friends at The Block at Harrah’s and Iheartthe80s put Philly Drag Mafia in the opening slot for FRIGGIN’ TAYLOR DAYNE and STACEY Q! Navaya Shay as Toni Basil, Dusty Relix as Cyndi Lauper, Brittany Marie as Pat Benetar (singing live), Royal Rehrig as George Michael (singing live), Ginger Alley as Michael Jackson, Omyra Lynn as Janet Jackson, and myself singing Depeche Mode! I got to stand next to and actually breathe upon her highness Taylor Dayne. And Stacey Q is most likely the sweetest woman you will ever meet-here’s a cute clip of the two of us in the Harrah’s parking lot before the show:

While you’re at my YouTube page-check out all the videos from Philly Phavorite Drag Family-there’s so much shit on there you’ll need to call outta work! (Because you should drink while you watch these videos xoxo)

Special shout to my broads of the Golden Gurlz Live who had their fourth sold out show over at the Common Wealth in Old City-catch us next in Asbury Park at Paradise (see below)! What’s next for these queens? Who can say in these crazy times-but it’s rumored that the show is being retweaked and reworked into a mash up with Sex and the City! Who started that rumor? Me-right here-right now-cuz it’s true. And you’re all gonna gag when the news gets revealed here on Philly Mixtape next month….so stay tuned!

In case you missed Skate.Pride. Love. at Dilworth Park on Monday-you missed a great time from the Our Night Out Folks, the DVLF, and the Philadelphia Gay News! Thanks to DJ Carl Michaels who always makes time to give back to the good causes and the Philly LGBTQ community-plus I got to wear a fancy dress and serve the ONLY Dorothy Hamill look since…well Dorothy Hamill

Ok kids moving on-here’s all the drag tea coming up for the end of February and March! How the hell is it almost friggin March already? First I gotta sit through Valentine’s Day and now WHAM-it’s mah birfdayyyyyy March 13, and a bitch is turning 40-something-ish! Can a girl get a second to catch her breath? Judging by all the events i got going on in March, my guess is no…But here it goes kids: All the Drag Tea!

(this photo of Bob the Drag Queen courtesy of the incredible, Mr. David Ayllon) 

Feb. 15-Bob the Drag Queen @ VERA, 9pm Crown snatcher Ariel Versace hosts this night of HIGH-lariousness with RPDR winner Bob the Drag Queen, yours truly, Bev, drag husband Chasity St. Cartier, and more queens than you can shake a stick at! (Note: You may actually shake a stick at some of them…well just Satine...) VERA-2310 Marlton Pike W, Cherry Hill, NJ 08002

Feb. 17-Spill the Tea Revue @ Tabu, 9pm
My much older and prettier sister Hennastacia Beach spills all the tea with special (and by special I mean slow) guests Donna Ria, original secretary of the Drag Mafia, Brenda Lamour, boylesquer Jesha, hottie boy toy Ian Greene, Regina Gorj, and drag mother to us all the legendary Les Harrison-NO COVER so stop being cheap and support local drag! (That should be a hashtag someday…) Tabu-200 S. 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

Feb. 18-Pigs in a Blanket @ Tabu, 9pm
The qween that gave every Philly host their opening monologue about screaming YASSSS and tipping-PISSI MYLES-hits Philly with NYC’s Sherrie Pie-with a comedy show that’s guaranteed to cure your comedy constipation! All laughs and NO COVER! Live singing and lots of song parodies-just get to Tabu before all the tater tots end up “missing”! Tabu-200 S. 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

Feb. 19-Miss Paradise @ Paradise in Asbury, 8pm
Hosted by my gay girlfriend Miss Victoria Lace (Miss Paradise 2010), and featuring Miss Paradise 2016 Jolina Jasmine, this pageant gives me LIFE! All the girls bring something different and GAYYYYY to the stage-talk about backup dancers and gowns for dayzzzzz….Can’t wait to gossip and kiki with one of my best Judys, Miss Michael Cook- “Cookie” and have a night with my bosom buddy DJ Carl MichaelsParadise-101 Asbury Ave, Asbury Park, NJ.; 07712

Feb. 24th Crowning of Iris Spectre @ Boxers, 8pm The Miss Fancy Brigade says goodbye to the Miss Fancy 2016 Maria Top Catt, and hello the reign of Iris Spectre, Miss Fancy 2017. We are just hoping the crown doesn’t stick magnetically to her 36 robot costumes. Special guests throughout the night and two special awards will be presented to Miss Karen Von Say and Miss Crystal Electra. Come through kids and support the gals who have marched proudly in the city’s biggest parade for our LGBTQ community. It’s all about diversity and inclusion so show some love! Boxers-1330 Walnut St.; (215) 735-2977

Feb. 26-The Golden Gurlz Live @ Paradise in Asbury-Early Bird Special, 4pm
After four SOLD OUT SHOWS in Philly, the gals are taking this GAY-mazing show up to Asbury for two episodes w/ Bella Cane, Pissi Myles, Connor Michalchuk, Aeryanah Von Moi, Jesha…and then there’s Maude! Get those tix, kids right here. Paradise-101 Asbury Ave, Asbury Park, NJ.; 07712

March 10-Morgan McMichaels @ Icandy, 10pm
One of RPDR’s faves Morgan McMichaels hits the Icandy stage to serve the children. I’m told Brooklyn Ford has already starting her contouring process for this event as I type this! Meet and greet and tickets available right here.  Icandy 254 S. 12th St.; (267) 324-3500

March 16-Brittany Lynn’s Bday @ Bob n Barbara’s, 11pm
Come celebrate my 40-something-ish (pass the Botox!) bday at Bob & Barbara’s-and my 21st year of performing there-JEEZUS-with my gay galpals “The Senator” Crystal Electra, the legendary Les Harrison, and your hostess each and every week (FOR ETERTNITY) Miss Lisa Lisa. Please make sure there is fruit salad in lieu of cake, girl is trying to slim this shit down! Xoxo, your current Miss Bob & Barbara’s Ameritus Bob & Barbara’s, 1509 South St.; (215) 545-4511

March 17- Porcelain’s “March Sadness” @ Tabu, 9pm (Now every THIRD Friday!)
Philly’s Phavorite, demonically possessed vixen returns to Tabu for her new, monthly show-with special guests Ann Artist, Luna Luvey, Pretty Girl, Asha Rabbit, and Satine! Get here early cuz this witch packs the house! If her eyes are glowing red, it’s not necessarily cuz she’s evil, she may have just been hanging out in the Tabu alley with Maria Top Catt… Tabu-200 S. 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

March 17-Drag Me to Landmark @ Landmark, 9pm
For your Jersey broads doing St. Patty’s in the best Jersey way possible, PLEASE go see Astala Vista’s show at Landmark. The venue, the audience, and the host are wayyy too much fun for your own good. Phaedra Phaded and Maria Top Catt join Astala and will most likely be found in the alley drinking all the green beer and slapping clover tattoos on all the hot local butts.

March 22-Summer Kamp PREMIER @ Tabu, 9pm
Philllllly-Summer Kamp is coming back to Tabu and they are looking for the area’s best triple threat-the actor/singer/dancer type (aka most theatrical gays). If you know anyway with these crazy talents-send em on over! Weekly prizes awarded for eight fun-filled weekly themes, and $1,000 in cash and prizes PLUS A SHOWCASE is awarded to the last camper remaining. Mentors Ian Lesage, Maria Top Catt, and Shannen Turner lead the kids to victory and guest judges include everyone from songstress Brittany Marie, to Joey Gallagher, to Peek A Boo Revue’s Joey Martini-you never know who you may find hitting Summer Kamp. Tabu-200 S. 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

March 25-Bev’s Bitchfest @ Tabu, 9pm
Bev’s Bday Bash brings Miss National Comedy Queen 2016 Anita Waistline, and Tabu’s Sinful Sunday’s Isis. “I’m so excited to bring the reigning Miss Comedy Queen to Philly and show her (and the audience) the best in talent and creativity in our community! It’s my birthday and we’re pulling out all the stops !” Bev said. What Bev meant to say was, “I’m so sad Brittany couldn’t perform in this show so I got these broads.” I swear that’s what I thought she said. But then again, I LOVE WEED, so what can ya do. Tabu-200 S. 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

March 26 Drag Mafia hits Bourbon & Branch, 11am
This brunch always sells out kids-so for realz grab your tickets early qweens! I’ll be there hosting a noon and 1pm show with some of my best gay galpals! And the food is GAYYYYYYY! I almost chopped off Zsa Zsa St. James titty for some of her chicken and waffles at the last brunch. Shows, stunts, games, and lots of audience participation. (And the staff is totally HAWT!) Seated table service tix-$15, standing room $5-and standing space sells out once the tables do! Tickets at bourbonandbranchphilly.com-LIMITED SEATING!!! Bourbon & Branch-705 N. 2nd St; (215) 238-0660

That’s all for now kids! If you something draggy coming up and wanna spread the word-hit me up at thedragmafia@gmail.com-and visit my fb page “The Vaginally Challenged Brittany Lynn”!

Love and lashes,
Brittany Lynn

Then of course, there’s this. 

 

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All the December Drag Tea w/ Brittany Lynn

Good morning kids!

And holy winter solstice-how the hell is it December already? That time again to get in gear for all of your favorite, pagan holidays…and to let your boss know what religious background you are in order to get that holiday vaca and time off from work!

As you know and probably hate, Jews like me celebrate Hanukah for eight days and get a gift for each day. So we require A LOT of time off. And yeah the holiday seems to fall on different days each year, but that’s only because we all meet up and decide when it would be the most inconvenient days to celebrate for everyone around us that isn’t Jewish. But don’t be jealous or mad, we always get shitty gifts while everyone else is waking up to brand new Xboxes. That’s our thing-you can’t have it all can ya…

But whether you light candles, celebrate Jesus’ birthday, read some hadith about Ramadan, or give your evil kids to the Krampus, December gives us a lot of parties, food, and the biggest night of drinking-New Year’s Eve. And with the good comes the bad-the “All I Want for Xmas is You” performance that is gay law mandatory for every drag show through the entire month (ahem NAVAYA SHAY-but congrats on becoming Miss Tabu 2016!). But the good is that I’m back from Dragcation and back to working’ dem streets and bars again-and so are a whole bunch of other dragons! So here’s a list of the buzz and what’s a happenin’ for December! Yep a Jesus Christ Superstar reference-it’s the holidays! Make it nice and come see the tree!

Dec. 3rd-Code Red 7pm @ The Theater of Living Arts
In 2008, I met a timid (and thin haha), little boy who was hired to be my backup dancer for Shampoo’s Boy Bar. We quickly bonded and he became one of my gay children. Now he has grown into one of the city’s most beloved drag queens and a powerhouse in the lgbt fundraising community-the diva known as Cherry Pop.

Last night, Cherry and Brandon Bartlieb–the producers of what has grown into one of the biggest charity events of the year–put on the 4th annual Code Red event in which themselves and many, many fabulous queens from across the local land came together and raised $16, 000  (surpassing their goal of $10,000) for Mazzoni Center and AIDS Fund!

You betta werk, ladies! Already can’t wait to see what next year will bring!

Before last night’s earth shattering event, I had a few minutes to chat with Cherry Pop and get the scoop on it all, which you can absolutely revel in right here on PhillyDragMafia.com….

Now, let’s get ready to ho, ho, ho it up to this dazzling display of December local drag shenanigans served up by yours truly…

Dec. 4-Miss Icandy Pageant at 8pm at Icandy Come and play with me and Miss Icandy 2016 Aloe Vera as we take the crown off her head and put the title of Miss Icandy onto a new diva who will represent Icandy in 2017 and get to march with the Miss Fancy Brigade on New Year’s Day! Make it gay! Icandy-254 S. 12th St.; (267) 324-3500

Dec. 7-Release party for the Morris Animal Refuge’s Fierce and Furry 2017 Calendar at 6pm @ Tabu
Twelve of the gayborhood’s favorite leading ladies have joined up with Morris Animal Refuge to create a fundraising calendar, “Fierce & Furry”! And most of us shaved for the photoshoot so you will hopefully be able to tell the queens from the adoptable furry babies in this GAYMAYZING calendar! Come by and grab a copy before they sell out! Makes a great ChrismaKwanzaHanukah gift for gays of all ages! Tabu-200 S 12th St.; (215) 964-9675

Dec. 9-Fish Tank at 9pm @ Tabu
Ariel Versace has cast her fish net out and pulled in a great group of fishy queens for this month’s holiday show-Anita Manhattan, Roxi Starr, Chasity St. Cartier, and Pheadra Phaded all parade around the tank this month! Tabu-200 S 12th St,; (215) 964-9675

Dec. 9th-Glitter and Garbage at 7pm @ L’Etage.
Shannon Turner serves, “Cabaret Realness with a side of angst and a filthy mouth”. With five dollars of every cover going to benefit The Trevor Project (Preventing Suicide among LGBTQ+ youth), Kevin Lutz on the piano, and special guest Mistor Fahrenheit performing, L’Etage is going to fill up quick-so grab an early seat kids! And be ready for Miss Turner’s mouth-she’s been known to make truck drivers blush.
$ 12 cover. 
L’Etage-624 S 6th St.; (215) 592-0656

Dec. 11-Golden Gurlz Live at 7pm @ Tabu
Golden Gurlz returns to Tabu after two sold out shows! This month, catch the Gurlz holiday episode-AND-a murder mystery episode-with guest star Angela Landsbury as Jessica Fletcher! (*Note: Angela Landsbury will not be there but we have the next best thing…) The murder mystery episode in very interactive so get seats up close to the stage if you wanna be a part of the show! My gay galpals Pissi Myles, Connor Michalchuk, Bella Cane, Aeryanah Von Moi, and Anne Allen return to reprise their famous roles (and then some) in this improv production of some of the Golden Gurlz funniest moments.  Tabu-200 S 12th St,; (215) 964-9675

Dec. 15-Xmas Kinky Quizzo at 10:30pm @ Valanni!
My big, gay ass gets extra kinky hosting a night of Kinky Quizzo. What makes it kinky and holiday? You should see what I do with the drinks and appetizers before they reach your table…Come anyway-and win some amazing kinky gifts to make any Scrooge loosen up this holiday season! Valanni-1229 Spruce St, (215) 790-9494

Dec. 16-Very Sherry Xmas at 7pm @ Tabu!
This show was a big one on my holiday list-I had to put out early for Santa this year-and ALL HIS DWARVES. It was actually pretty fun! But who doesn’t want to see two gay Jews perform holiday material? Iconic, drag legend Sherry Vine joins myself, Ariel Versace, and comedienne extraordinaire Martha Salzman-Gay and Di the Comedian Hargrove. (You will want to see Di play Bill Cosby as we sing our rendition of “Baby it’s Cold Outside…”) Catch Sherry Vine on gaySVTV on YouTube for her collection of HIGH-larious videos and classics such as “Shit My Pants!” (Bad Romance parody). If you’re a cheap ass like myself and have Hulu instead of cable, check out her cable show, “She’s Living for this!”

For the first time in the twenty years or so I have known Miss Vine, I was able to distract her and wrench the cock out of her mouth for a brief period of time, and ask her a few questions. Here’s what she had to say until she overpowered me and went back to work…

BL:You have had a long and GAYmayzing drag career spanning centuries! As one of the original NYC premier queens, what’s the secret to keeping up with the two million new drag queens that have flooded the market since drag race began?
Sherry: LOL! Yes, back during the Ming Dynasty it was easier to draw a crowd – less competition! But now that anyone can put on a wig and be a drag star lol, But I just keep doing what i do and hope people want to see it. I’ve always been a hard worker and I still love it soooo much!!

BL:Parodies seem to be your forte-do the lyrics just flow naturally to you? What’s your process as to which parodies go to your stage performance rather than the ones that you produce into one of your infamous YouTube videos?
Sherry: I have literally been writing parodies my entire life – even before Sherry Vine. I used to rewrite the songs to the musicals we were doing in high school. So I guess it does come naturally and I’m demented. lol. Some parodies come out very easily and I can write one in 3 minutes. But sometimes it can take days or weeks! If it’s a song that’s a big hit and I want to write a parody it can be involved. Especially a rap song like my new Nicki Minaj parody of Hey Mama – it’s a lot of words and rhyming. And trust me, for everyone that’s a “hit” there are 10 that flop!! Lol. I audition a lot of new material at my weekly show in NYC so when people see me out of town, like Philly, they luckily get the ones that have passed inspection!

BL:Speaking of videos, tell the kids about SVTV and how that came about?
Sherry: gaySVTVworld is the brainchild of me and my creative business partner Josh Rosenzweig. We have worked together for over 20 years. He was the director of our theatre company Theatre Couture and he produced/directed my variety show She’s Living For This on Here TV. We wanted to create more content that was all LGBTQ and drag and own 100% of it so we re-branded my YouTube channel. It’s amazing to me how many people work so hard on it and all the content is free. It’s the gay Netflix but free! lol. Our next big project is Oy To The World – 8 new music parody videos by 8 different directors, one for each night of Hanukkah!
BL:I see “She’s Living For This!” on Hulu-any chance of us seeing more Sherry Vine coming back to cable?
Sherry: Honestly, that show was my all time life-long dream come true! We definitely want to do something like that next year!! So many people have been commenting on it and seeing it on Hulu – praise goddess! Tabu, 200 South 12th St,

Dec 16th-Drag Me to Landmark:Holiday ExDRAGvaganza:Landmark Americana Glassboro Astala Vista brings all the kids up to Joisey for a night of holiday queers. This little spitfire has grown into such an amazing performer and host and can hold her own with the big girls! Special guests include Vinchelle, Pissi Myles, and Miss Terra Hyman. This place-much like my uterus-packs em in and fills up quickly-get your tickets before the show and tell em Brittany sent ya-I’ll be there with the kids in January! 1 Mullica Hill Road, Glamssboro, NJ, (856) 863-6600

Dec. 17-Therapy Not Included at 9pm/Front Street Dive
Brought to you by Sinnamon’s Spice Rac and hosted by Mistor Fahrenheit, this night of burlesque is a “burlesque show of ruined childhoods”. Ugh, I hear ya sister! I couldn’t even speak when they cancelled “Dancin on Air” and “Punky Brewster’. You can’t even find those on Amazon! Front Street Dive-10 S Front St.

Dec. 21-VERA Xmas Show at 9pm at VERA!
VERA has become a hot showcase for the queens over in Jersey! The now infamous, monthly event is having its first holiday show-so show some holiday spirit by drinking some holiday spirits, and expect a fist bump or two with some high high by both the queens and the audience members. Hey-it’s Cherry Hill-whaddaya expect? Hosted by Ariel Versace, with performances by Maria Top Catt, Chasity St. Cartier, and meeee Brittany Lynn! Sit on our laps and tell us what ya want in your stocking this year 2310 Marlton Pike W, Cherry Hill, NJ.; (856) 486-1001

Dec. 24-The Nondenominational Super Fun HoliGAY Show! At 9pm @ Tabu!
The Gayborhood’s gayest gaggle of gays gather together to celebrate all the weirdness of the HoliGays. Join Aurora Whorealis, Eric Jaffe, and Abowla Dix and they celebrate ALL the holidays-just without the annoying family and extravagant gift giving. Well I’m sure Aurora has some things she can pass onto you-shes the gift that keeps on giving. You may need a shot after…of penicillin. But it’s fine because there’s no cover! So come on out and play and make it nice! Tabu, 200 South 12th Street, (215) 

Well that’s all for now kids-everyone have a safe and blessed holiGAY. Make it nice and come see my tree! It’s at Macy’s on the third floor…

Love and lashes,
Brittany Lynn