Here we Gaga go.
In just about four hours (aka one day in Little Monsters time), Ms. Stefani Germanotta is about to unleash her Super Bowl halftime extravaganza for the entire world to see. While we may have no idea just what she has up her creative sleeve (or whatever you might call it), one thing we do know is that this performance will be miles away from the last time a certain diva owned the worldwide stage for all of us to bask in.
So, while you’ve charged your disco stick all sorts of up, listened to all of Gaga’s hits (and apparently practiced those iconic “Thriller” moves?), step away from the chicken wings because there’s still plenty of time get a touch more woke for tonight’s Gaga Bowl...and here’s 5 ways how.
1.Show a little love to ArtPop Just when you thought you’ve done all of your prep werk ahead of tonight’s shenanigans, it seems we may have forgotten to show a little love to Gaga’s much maligned fourth studio set. And while, yes, it’s still a bit “ugh” to get through (“Swine” and “Jewels N Drugs,” anyone? Anyone??), it’s still home to “Applause” and “Do What You Want,” which are no doubt two of the most underrated tracks in Gaga’s monstrous catalog. Besides, any true music artist doesn’t serve up a legacy without having at least one American Life flub in their vault. So, do it up for this one day only, the “Meat Dress” is counting on you.
2.Reminsce on that time when Britney threw all the shade towards Gaga, err, Jo’s way… No explanation needed.
3.Practice that “Bad Romance” choreo again and again… While everyone and their Drag Mother Monster has mastered and learned the “Bad Romance” choreography ever since the accompanying video stormed into our eyeballs nearly a decade ago, but when it comes to Gaga’s career changing tune, practice always makes perfect. Besides, we must show an example of how to slay not just for the younger generation of fab kids who may be basking in Gaga’s presence for the very first time, but for the mean, old, grouchy Budweiser slingin’ uncle in the room whose clearly rooting for the other team. Now, get those paws up and be a fierce free bitch, baby.
4.Get ready to clutch those ‘Joanne’ tour pearls? If there’s been one thing missing from our Gaga lives in what feels like a million years ago at this point, it’s a big ol’ tour in a delightfully bat shit crazy way that only Gaga knows how to deliver. While an announcement of a Joanne World Tour following the Super Bowl would certainly be everything and more, it would also make up for the 3 city Dive Bar Tour Gaga served up last year in which Philly–the reigning champion of all things dive bars–certainly felt the shade with that one. In other words, bring it, Ms. Lady, as our City of Brotherly Love live music pearls are already clutched in anticipation for such a woke announcement.
5.Watch Melissa McCarthy on SNL as Sean Spicer…. While this one may have nothing to do with Gaga or football, much like the “Poker Face” diva’s upcoming Super Bowl slay, it’s life within its damn self. Just watch again and again. Then repeat steps one through 5 if you’re not quite there yet. See you at the Gaga show!