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15 Angst-y Grooves for Your Valentine’s Day Shadin’ Soul

So, how many of you out there remember the life rearranging Chicken Soup for the Soul books series?

Basically……everyone and their Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul readin’ motha’….right, Mom

The highly regarded self-help collections are not only delightfully (and sometimes…tearfully) consumed with inspirational life truth about ordinary people’s lives dealing with this f@#king thing called life itself, the ups and downs of love, pets and those damn teenagers, but it proved that as human beings…..we all go through it and we all have a story to spill about…something.  

Much like there are words for every emotion and feeling, there’s also a grand groove for,well, all of it as well. So, what better way to serve out Philly Mixtape‘s new Chicken Soup for the Soul based bi-weekly strictly music column other than on Valentine’s Day

While today is indeed a celebrated day full of fancy eatin,’ tender lovin,’ and between-the-sheets baby makin'(right, Adina Howard, Keith Sweat and SWV…yes), it’s also regarded as National Singles Awareness Day! So, whether you’re deeply in love with someone or deeply in love with your damn self, as long as you’re feeling some kind of love filled way today, sexy Cupid will most likely be squeezin’ that ass Gaga style. 

But what about all of those who maybe be spending their first Valentine’s Day after ending a long-term relationship or messy divorce with (eek!!) no pre-nup? Of course, there’s those broken-hearted souls who still can’t believe they you for her/him and there was no pre-nup and you’re really, really angry and you just want to blast……

……….some angst-y rhythms from Kelly Clarkson, Courtney Love, Beyoncé, Eamon, Alanis, Shirley Manson, Madonna (“bitch”), Method Man, Carrie Underwood, and of course, Nazareth (’cause can love can really, really fucking hurt sometimes) as loud as you possibly can in hopes that it will take all of the pain away. 

Guess what? It most likely will because if there’s one element out there that gets us (meaning..you) more than anybody, it’s that dear, sweet music.  And to all of those out there going through it today because of them(!!!!), you got this….just remember…you’re never alone when you’ve got those grooves. 

Now, let’s get angst-y and tell Cupid to f@#k off, shall we? Always

Garbage/”Vow” Like Joan of Arc coming back for more…you still betta preach that mid ’90 angst, Ms. Shirley Manson..forever. 

Rihanna/”Breakin’ Dishes”  All night…uh huh. 

Alanis Morrisette/”You Oughta Know” Right, Uncle Joey? 

Kelly Clarkson/”Since You’ve Been Gone” No kidding, Ms. Clarkson, no fucking kidding. 

Eamon/”Don’t Want You Back” Like, fucking ever. Bye, bitch. 

The Murmurs/”You Suck” First of all, The Murmurs…second of all…u suck, bye. 

Hole/”Miss World” For when the cookie dough runs out, there’s always a world missin’ mid ’90s Courtney Love to get us through…anything. 

Madonna/”Thief of Hearts” Bitch. No further statements. 

Method Man/D’Angelo/”Breakups 2 Makeups” Not that we shouldn’t sip-and-reminsce to this classic headboard board breaker every chance we get, actually, wait, that’s it.. we should. And if you haven’t gotten all up in this old school hip hop fire, take a puff and do NOT call that ex. 

 Nazareth/”Love Hurts”  Yes, it does…a$$ hole. 

Carrie Underwood/”Before He Cheats”  For the angst-y country diva inside of all of us, Ms. Carrie, baby…

Jackie O/”Before He Cheats”   For the angst-y dance floor diva inside of all of us, this Jackie O-ified rewire…..

Beyonce/”Ring the Alarm” Smash that alarm, gurl, it’s yours for the ringin’…they deserve it. 

“XXXtina”/”I Hate Boys”  Especially clueless ones who are ugly on the inside…you are permanently dismissed because we’re too busy moving on and pumping out our angst on the Bionic dance floor with Ms. Aguilera and this boy hatin’ beat. #fadedegoslittled!cks 

PCD/”I Don’t Need a Man” Right, Ms. Nicole and those other girls? Hmm..hmmmm….

For much more lovely shenanigans like this and beyond, break some headboard beats right here and here with Philly Mixtape….and let’s all work together and without personal shade or judgement please. It’s the only shit’s ever going to get done…like, fucking ever. 

Cover photo courtesy of 1994 

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Weekday Entertainment Groove

Happy (almost) Valentine’s Day/Singles Awareness Day

Now, let’s have some fun because this love-filled groove of local and legendary entertainment shenanigans to get into in Philly this week is in a Gaga word….quite sick. 

Now, grab that disco stick and…go. 

Philly Theatre Week What do Bristol Riverside Theatre‘s ‘On Golden Pond,” Bucks County Playhouse‘s ‘Buddy:The Buddy Holly Story,’ Philadelphia Theatre Company‘s “Bridges of Madison County’ and Philly Improv Theatre‘s ‘Thank You, Places’ all have in common? Besides each of them being fabulous shows and incredible local entertainment venues, they’re just a tiny-yet-gigantic part of Philly Theatre Week, which is happening right this very second through this Sunday, Feb 17th! With 81 organizations hosting 100 events and over 315 (!!) performances, this is a can’t miss arts festival for the local arts (support ’em) lover in every single one of us. But perhaps the most splendid part of it all? Tickets for each show and event are all (emphasis on all) specially priced at three very accessible levels of free, $15 or $30! Okay, now we’re all ready. So, to grab as many tickets as you possibly can for this truly spectacular event (plus see the full festival layout!!), check all of this out right here, right now…and then go and get your local theater life on..you’ll certainly be glad you did. 

Sing Your Life Karaoke Hey, Philly karaoke lovers…the time has come..for all of us to belt out the hits for our window shattering lives! All you have to do is join the most fabulous Sara Sherr and her Sing Your Life Karaoke collection at any…or all…..of these phabulous Philly locations listed below…..and then get ready to sing as if your name is Reese Witherspoon..it’s just that simple. Let’s crack some vases. Sun/9-2@Bob & Barbara’s……Tues/9-2@12 Steps Down……Thursday/9-2 @Milkboy Philly South St…Fri/9-1@Southhouse….Saturday/9-145@ Les & Doreen’s Happy Tap

74 Seconds….To Judgement/Arden Theatre Company There’s shows, and then there’s...this show.. a poignant, powerful story about a jury of 6 who have been in pure deadlock for a week straight as they undoubtably struggle to decide what is ‘justifiable homicide’ in a headline grabbing murder trial. As relevant as it is pure pearl clutching (and big shout out to red-hot Philly playwright Kash Goins as well), it’s a must see for ALL of us in these divided times. It’s taken over The Arden until March 3rd, and now it’s undoubtedly time to let this gripping show take over your life…right now. Seriously..go see it (and meet one of the show’s leading ladies, Ms. Kala Moses Baxter, right here!) you won’t be disappointed…go. 

That Show! A Comedy Cabaret:Valentine’s Edition/Franky Bradley’s  Do you enjoy livin’ and laughin’ your ass off? If you answered f@#k yes to that question (if ya didn’t….electroshock, perhaps?), then the utmost hilarious hosting duo of Christa D’agger and Nick Reeves have just the love squeeze worthy night out for you this Wednesday night! And it’s also because of you that, um, That Show! is back by popular demand, and with a cabaret theme and everything else in between that this thang called love shall bring, not only is it a night starring some of Philly brightest and boldest local entertainers, it’s also a night of feel good vibes and lovin’ it up that you don’t want to miss out on! Now, all you have to do is get those tickets right here and this groovy gang will see you there! (830 pm

Glitter and Garbage Presents:Love is Easy/L’Etage  So, like, love and stuff right? Absolutely. And when it’s all served up in fine, glittery live music form, that feeling is that much more delish. And that feeling (and so much more!!) is just what will be candy hearted out when Shannon Turner, Lili St. Queer, Grampy Knockers and Messapotomia put on a brand spankin’ new Valentine’s Day serving of G & G this Thursday night that’s guaranteed to have all of our fabulous asses squeezed by sexy Cupid. Did we mention there’s going to be tons of glitter going around? Now, get out there and break some local entertainment hearts, you sexy thang, you…yes, you…go. (7 pm

We Heart Gayborhood DJs While this week and weekend is all about feelin’ the love all over (and always, bitch), it’s also about gettin’ down with some good ol’ fashioned dance music lovin, and what better to way to feel that special tingle other than rubbin’ headphones with a handsome pair of Philly DJs? So, this Valentine’s Friday night, whether you give a shout out to DJ Brando Calrissian in the booth upstairs at Tavern on Camac, or go and get your tribal-and-deep house on next to DJ KRK for a Cupid slay worthy edition of his Underground affair at Voyeur, the time is now to get over your shit and let’s ALL dance! And of course, bring some friends because the more the merrier when it comes to getting lost in the dance music love that’ll be dished out by these dashing Philly DJs for the start of your lovely weekend. (10 pm

Chromeo/NOTO First, get lost in the scrumptious approved vibes served up by Chromeo‘s funkdafied retelling of Maroon 5’s “Wait.” Then, you better snatch up those tickets to see these two fine-tuned Canadian music gentlemen take over NOTO this Friday night as part of the Philly hot-spot’s two-year anniversary bash, and well, that’s pretty much..all of it. Now, groove. (10 pm

Also for your……

Monday/Feb 11th 

We’ll Sleep When We’re Dead @L’Etage (go here for more showtimes and venues, 8 pm)……….Monday Night Raw@St. Lazarus Bar(10 pm)……….National Treasure:A Live Reading(!!)@Tattooed Mom(7 pm)……….The Warm Up #28 @The Boom Boom Room(630 pm)………..Pistolera@Kimmel Center(8 pm)…….Girl Germs@Johnny Brenda’s Downstairs(8 pm) 

Tuesday/February 12th 

Turn Out Tuesdays@Boxers PHL w/Iris Spectre & Vinchelle(8 pm)……….You Can’t Kill a Poet @Tattooed Mom(730 pm)……..Best of Cocktail Plays @Philadelphia Distilling(7 pm)……..Peter Murphy @Union Transfer(7 pm)………..Andrew Combs@Johnny Brenda’s(8 pm)………Hailey Knox@Boot & Saddle(7 pm) 

Wednesday/February 13th 

The Soul Factory Season 2 @TABU(9 pm)……….Real Housewives Trivia @Punchline Comedy Club (7 pm)………Hump Day Hoe Down@Tavern on Camac(8 pm)………Anti Valentine’s Day Art Show @Dive Bar Philly(8 pm)………Summer Salt@The Foundry(8 pm)…….Yung Gravy@TLA(8 pm)……witisfuneral@Voltage Lounge(8 pm)………Sean Rowe@Boot & Saddle(8 pm)

Thursday/February 14th    

Mimi Imfurst Presents:Hedwig & The Angry Inch:A Valentine’s Day Benefit@Voyeur(8 pm)…………Fab Hearts Club:Drag Bingo@Hard Rock Cafe(6 pm)……….Valentine’s Day w/Kirill Was Here@NOTO(10 pm)…………Metric & Zoe@The Fillmore(7 pm)………Under Pressure Group Show@North Bowl(9 pm)………YNW Melly@TLA(8 pm)………The Devil Makes Three @Union Transfer(8 pm)…..Kim Waters@South Jazz Club(8 pm)…….Del Water Gap@Boot & Saddle(7 pm)……..Of Virtue@The Fire(8 pm) 

Friday/February 15th

Beirut/Helado Negro@Tower Theater(8 pm)………Brian McKnight@Ocean Resort Casino(8 pm)……..Blade Runner Dance Party @Underground Arts(9 pm)……….EMO Night Brooklyn @The Foundry(1030 pm)………HAUS Presents:LUVSHAK@TABU(10 pm)……..LP@The Fillmore(830 pm)……..The Rocky Horror Picture Show@Ritz at the Bourse(1130 pm)……..G Jones@TLA(8 pm)……..Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness@The Met…..Owen@Boot & Saddle(730 pm)……….Glorious Sons@Johnny Brenda’s(8 pm)……..

For much more local and legendary lovin‘ this week and beyond, point your arrows right here and here with Philly Mixtape 

Cover photo courtesy of Woods, Elle 

 

 

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Happy Singles Awareness Day!

Today is Valentine’s Day! 

And of course as everyone and their Hallmark mother knows that when it comes to the love game of sexy Cupid (right, Ms. Gaga?), it can certainly go many, many different ways. 

For all the lovers out there, it’s a day filled with red roses, most likely followed by an evening filled with wining, dining and some good ol’ fashioned boots knockin.’

For others, it’s a day when, um, dating apps like Tinder, Scruff and Grindr will be on in full force in hopes of baggin’ up as much of that V-Day booty as humanly possible.

And then….sigh…..for a select unfortunate sad few out there, Valentine’s Day is the worst fucking day of the year because you think of your ex and how could they do that to you and now they’re with her/him and all you want is some brownie batter and/or cookie dough with Courtney Love and Alanis Morissette on full fucking blast. 

You oughta know, indeed. 

However, if there’s one group out there who doesn’t get the appreciation they deserve on this sacred day of love, it’s those who are single by fabulous choice and for them, today is just another day, or as we shall officially call it….Singles Awareness Day

So, to those of you out there who are just doin’ you and don’t need a man/lovely lady by your side to get yours in this life, but you’re confident as fuck and know the right one will eventually come along and you just want to live it up and be free……then these anthems are just for you. 

Who needs Cupid, anyway? 

Pussycat Dolls/”I Don’t Need a Man”    Just do you, boo…it’s the only way. 

Beyonce/”Single Ladies(Put a Ring on It)”  “Oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh, oh, oh.” No further statements. 

Demi Lovato/”Confident” Because what’s wrong with being confident, bitch? Just sayin.’ 

Jason Derulo/”Ridin’ Solo”   The only way to be…now get out there and own it. 

Destiny’s Child/”Independent Women(Part 1)”   Gurl, who knew you could get down like that on Singles Awareness Day? Everyone. 

Destiny’s Child/”Independent Women(Part 2)”  Keep gettin’ down, gurl. 

Usher/’U Don’t Have to Call”    Nah, we don’t need ya ’cause we out here on the floor gettin’ ours. 

TLC/”No Scrubs”  Ewwwwww….gross. 

Snoop Dogg/Bruno Mars/Wiz Khalifa/’Young, Wild & Free”   Let’s party. 

Natasha Bedingfield/”Single”  Hey there, Ms. Bedingfield, it’s certainly nice to hear from you again..especially today. 

Mary J. Blige/”Real Love”   Because it’s all business when it comes to searchin’ for that Ms. Blige style real love. But until then, let’s all live it up in the name of Cupid and of course, copy every god damn classic dance move from this video. 

And then let’s dance some more and be free. 

Happy Singles Awareness Day! 

 

Oh, and this.